It turns out that results don't always add up to the way that you feel like you performed. I hate to say it but I fenced well but not well enough to beat the Russian to make the next round (to the top-32). I was close but no cigar in the end. It wasn't even the cheering Russian fans that did it in for me, I just think I made one or two errors that cost me the match.
As for the team event. I fenced really well and I think the team fenced very well as a whole. We were one touch away from beating Romania to make it to the round of top-8. It's unfortunate but we are still about forty points ahead of Venezuela to qualify a team for the Olympics.
That's the short and long of the description of World Championships. It didn't go badly and I think I fenced well overall, but unfortunately my result wasn't super spectacular. They never said that qualifying for the Olympics would be easy.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
back from Russia
I just got back from Russia late last night and I am totally jet lagged. I don't think I've ever been this tired from a trip before-maybe I'm getting old or maybe it was the four hour lay over in Paris and the five hour lay over in NYC? Who knows.
I thought I would share a picture that a friend of mine took of me on the plane. It gives you an idea of how I feel right about now.
It's a little dark but I think you get the picture.
I'm going to blog later today about the whole trip and my thoughts on it later today. I'm also planning to comment on the recent events with Marion Jones-she had to return her medals from the Olympic Games after pleading guilty to taking banned substances. I remember seeing her at Sydney and I have lots of thoughts on the matter-coming up soon.
Hope all is well and you didn't miss me too much!
I thought I would share a picture that a friend of mine took of me on the plane. It gives you an idea of how I feel right about now.
It's a little dark but I think you get the picture.
I'm going to blog later today about the whole trip and my thoughts on it later today. I'm also planning to comment on the recent events with Marion Jones-she had to return her medals from the Olympic Games after pleading guilty to taking banned substances. I remember seeing her at Sydney and I have lots of thoughts on the matter-coming up soon.
Hope all is well and you didn't miss me too much!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
In transit
Just wanted to say that I am about to board a plane to Paris....the stop before St. Petersburg. I hope to get another blog in while we are Paris waiting for the next flight, especially since we have a seven hour lay over. Do you think we have enough time?
Here is a lovely photo of Hanna and I in transit. Caption: I wouldn't say this is our best picture..just look at the shiny forehead! OY! However, I am wearing my new glasses.
See you in Paris!
Here is a lovely photo of Hanna and I in transit. Caption: I wouldn't say this is our best picture..just look at the shiny forehead! OY! However, I am wearing my new glasses.
See you in Paris!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Return to the Motherland
I lived in Moscow for about four months in 2005, and I have been back once since then to fence. There is a lot of history for me in that country and especially the city of St. Petersburg-the site of this year's World Championships.
The following are short stories about a few of my trips to Mother Russia.
First story: Moscow, 1999
I made my first senior world cup final at the Moscow world cup in 1999. I was about eighteen then and had started at Stanford that year. I remember that Buckie was so proud of me that he bought me a shot of vodka. I am definitely a cheap date so I went up to accept my medal just a little tipsy.
Second story: St. Petersburg, 2004
This one is not as fun as the first story. St. Petersburg was the last competition for selection of the 2004 team. There was only one individual that could qualify to compete for USA women's foil at the Olympics that year. It was at this competition that I needed to just make the top-32, something I had done many times over in my career, in order to make the team. I was leading a Russian girl and in the last period I lost to her making me two points short overall of making the 2004 team. Just writing these words is tough for me.
The interesting thing is that my current coach was coaching Felicia at the time and she consoled me in the bathroom. I was just sobbing uncontrollably.
It was also the last time Buckie ever coached me in a competition. He and I were through. We had a short talk and the end and he said he thought I would make the team and I said I didn't and I felt like it was partly his fault. And we left it at that, nothing more and nothing less. It still pisses me off to think that is how we ended our twenty year career together. But that is definitely a story for another day.
Third story: Moscow and St. Petersburg, 2005
This one is definitely happier than the second. The whole Stanford in Moscow exchange program went to St. Petersburg for a trip during our quarter abroad. We had a great time there and it was at that time I had no intention of coming back to fencing. I did fence a bit in Moscow but I felt like it was already over for me. Was I secretly thinking that I would come back? I seriously doubted that at the time.
I even remember talking to some fencers from Moscow and they would ask me whether or not I would return. I would laugh and say absolutely not and they would respond that fencing is always in the blood. Russians-always so dramatic. True, but dramatic.
Fourth story: St. Petersburg, 2007
This story has yet to be written. This is the story of my return to St. Petersburg as a fencer ready to fence at the World Championships. I'm looking foward to going back, practicing my ever decreasing Russian vocabulary, and visit the Hermitage. I just remember how much I loved that city.
What I loved most about St. Petersburg was it's history of Tsars and Tsarinas, especially the story about Catherine the Great. She was quite the character, you can click here to find out more about her.
My flight leaves on Saturday and I will arrive in St. Petersburg sometime on Sunday by way off Rochester-Newark-Paris. Apparently you can't fly directly to St. Petersburg-or maybe you can't fly directly there on a budget.
By the way-I appreciate everyone's comments about the blog. All are very useful and fun to hear.
The following are short stories about a few of my trips to Mother Russia.
First story: Moscow, 1999
I made my first senior world cup final at the Moscow world cup in 1999. I was about eighteen then and had started at Stanford that year. I remember that Buckie was so proud of me that he bought me a shot of vodka. I am definitely a cheap date so I went up to accept my medal just a little tipsy.
Second story: St. Petersburg, 2004
This one is not as fun as the first story. St. Petersburg was the last competition for selection of the 2004 team. There was only one individual that could qualify to compete for USA women's foil at the Olympics that year. It was at this competition that I needed to just make the top-32, something I had done many times over in my career, in order to make the team. I was leading a Russian girl and in the last period I lost to her making me two points short overall of making the 2004 team. Just writing these words is tough for me.
The interesting thing is that my current coach was coaching Felicia at the time and she consoled me in the bathroom. I was just sobbing uncontrollably.
It was also the last time Buckie ever coached me in a competition. He and I were through. We had a short talk and the end and he said he thought I would make the team and I said I didn't and I felt like it was partly his fault. And we left it at that, nothing more and nothing less. It still pisses me off to think that is how we ended our twenty year career together. But that is definitely a story for another day.
Third story: Moscow and St. Petersburg, 2005
This one is definitely happier than the second. The whole Stanford in Moscow exchange program went to St. Petersburg for a trip during our quarter abroad. We had a great time there and it was at that time I had no intention of coming back to fencing. I did fence a bit in Moscow but I felt like it was already over for me. Was I secretly thinking that I would come back? I seriously doubted that at the time.
I even remember talking to some fencers from Moscow and they would ask me whether or not I would return. I would laugh and say absolutely not and they would respond that fencing is always in the blood. Russians-always so dramatic. True, but dramatic.
Fourth story: St. Petersburg, 2007
This story has yet to be written. This is the story of my return to St. Petersburg as a fencer ready to fence at the World Championships. I'm looking foward to going back, practicing my ever decreasing Russian vocabulary, and visit the Hermitage. I just remember how much I loved that city.
What I loved most about St. Petersburg was it's history of Tsars and Tsarinas, especially the story about Catherine the Great. She was quite the character, you can click here to find out more about her.
My flight leaves on Saturday and I will arrive in St. Petersburg sometime on Sunday by way off Rochester-Newark-Paris. Apparently you can't fly directly to St. Petersburg-or maybe you can't fly directly there on a budget.
By the way-I appreciate everyone's comments about the blog. All are very useful and fun to hear.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
what's in a name?
I'm all about nicknames. You can ask my teammates about it-I've probably had a hand in creating the nicknames they have on the team. I call it the women's foil frasority, we have a couple of guys in our group as well.
Hanna is "skinny" (self-explanatory)
Emily is "the brain" (she goes to Harvard)
Erinn is "guns" (since she broke her finger she has managed to find a way to hit from the hip)
Doris is "the kid" (she's the youngest)
Nat is "the owl" (because she's so wise)
Mike is "the mission" (he is always on a mission and his fencing club is in the mission in SF)
My name-well that is still being decided.
My original nickname was "Mama". Mostly because I was the one with the most experience on the team (although Erinn is older and has just about as much experience), I've been around a long time, and I have a tendency to want to take care of others.
However, this past week I was thinking about it. There is a lot in a name-just take Romeo and Juliet for example, where I ripped the title of this blog from. There is a lot in a name-some names you don't like because you don't like the person they are associated with. Did you have a run in with Rose? Do you like the name Chad because he was your high school sweetheart?
Names are important. Nicknames are just as important because they are supposed to represent a very concentrated part of you. I just wasn't feeling like I was the name Mama. I am still a competitor, I still want to win, and Mama just seems like I should have three kids and a minivan. Nothing wrong with that but not at this moment in my life.
An old Rochester Fencing Club teammate of mine came to visit the club last week during the fencing camp. She made a face when I told her that my nickname was Mama. Julianna knew me as a youngster so Mama would never make sense to her. More importantly, Mama would never make sense to her because I was always so intent on beating the crap out of everyone at fencing practice. I was an intense teenager I guess.
Her words made me think. How did I go from this super intense person to a nurturer? Then it hit me-the nickname just didn't work for me. I asked Julianna to come up with another, more appropriate nickname for the situation.
Julianna finally came up with one at the end of practice on the last day of fencing camp-"the energizer". This comes from the energizer bunny since I always seem to be on the go, up and running, but I also shut off when I am tired. I have three modes-"go", "go faster", and "full stop".
I am both these nicknames. I believe that I am someone that will work hard to get to their goals but doesn't believe that the ends justifies the means. I want to earn a place on the team without compromising any of my ideals. I think that in sports, just as in politics, there is always one path that is clearly right (perhaps slower) and one path that is clearly a little muddied.
Maybe I feel this way because I just watched Karate Kid. It was pretty sweet to see Daniel-Sun beat up on the Cobra Kai without stooping to their level. The crane kick is still one of my favorite parts of any movie I've seen.
Anyways, enough of that segue, I am happier with the nickname energizer. It makes me feel less like a soccer mom and more like the competitor that I am.
Hanna is "skinny" (self-explanatory)
Emily is "the brain" (she goes to Harvard)
Erinn is "guns" (since she broke her finger she has managed to find a way to hit from the hip)
Doris is "the kid" (she's the youngest)
Nat is "the owl" (because she's so wise)
Mike is "the mission" (he is always on a mission and his fencing club is in the mission in SF)
My name-well that is still being decided.
My original nickname was "Mama". Mostly because I was the one with the most experience on the team (although Erinn is older and has just about as much experience), I've been around a long time, and I have a tendency to want to take care of others.
However, this past week I was thinking about it. There is a lot in a name-just take Romeo and Juliet for example, where I ripped the title of this blog from. There is a lot in a name-some names you don't like because you don't like the person they are associated with. Did you have a run in with Rose? Do you like the name Chad because he was your high school sweetheart?
Names are important. Nicknames are just as important because they are supposed to represent a very concentrated part of you. I just wasn't feeling like I was the name Mama. I am still a competitor, I still want to win, and Mama just seems like I should have three kids and a minivan. Nothing wrong with that but not at this moment in my life.
An old Rochester Fencing Club teammate of mine came to visit the club last week during the fencing camp. She made a face when I told her that my nickname was Mama. Julianna knew me as a youngster so Mama would never make sense to her. More importantly, Mama would never make sense to her because I was always so intent on beating the crap out of everyone at fencing practice. I was an intense teenager I guess.
Her words made me think. How did I go from this super intense person to a nurturer? Then it hit me-the nickname just didn't work for me. I asked Julianna to come up with another, more appropriate nickname for the situation.
Julianna finally came up with one at the end of practice on the last day of fencing camp-"the energizer". This comes from the energizer bunny since I always seem to be on the go, up and running, but I also shut off when I am tired. I have three modes-"go", "go faster", and "full stop".
I am both these nicknames. I believe that I am someone that will work hard to get to their goals but doesn't believe that the ends justifies the means. I want to earn a place on the team without compromising any of my ideals. I think that in sports, just as in politics, there is always one path that is clearly right (perhaps slower) and one path that is clearly a little muddied.
Maybe I feel this way because I just watched Karate Kid. It was pretty sweet to see Daniel-Sun beat up on the Cobra Kai without stooping to their level. The crane kick is still one of my favorite parts of any movie I've seen.
Anyways, enough of that segue, I am happier with the nickname energizer. It makes me feel less like a soccer mom and more like the competitor that I am.
Friday, September 21, 2007
What a day!
I should have known that this was going to be quite a day when I woke up for the first of few times around 2am. I am currently trying to fight a cold that has been going around Rochester. A barber at the coffee shop today told me that a lot of his customers have been coming in with the same cold/flu like symptoms-I should be fine in three days he said. So much for doctors-his advice was a lot cheaper.
Around 6:30am I just decided to call it quits, get up, and get ready for my workout at the gym at 8am. When I got into my car I realized that I needed fill up the gas tank. Don't worry, the story/blog gets more interesting (just read on.). After I got gas I realized that I didn't have my credit card anymore. I spent twenty minutes at the gas station trying to look for my card. I even had the woman working at the gas station rewind the tape and see whether or not I dropped the card on the ground. By the way, this sort of scared me. How often are you on video tape without realizing it? I think I'm going to start dressing up more often-or maybe not.
After that debacle I headed to the gym. I still didn't have my credit card but I would be late with my appointment with Dave, my trainer, if I didn't leave the gas station. The workout was great. Two of my teammates joined me for the workout and it made things competitive but fun. I do have to say that I won one of the portions of the workout when we were timed-I'm not competitive.
After the gym I headed for morning practice. I did manage to find my card stuck on the side of the driver's side when I got out to head to the fencing club. Lucky me. Things seemed to be looking up-fencing practice was fun and productive-I thought that my day was starting to turn around.
But then......cue the music (dun dun dun). Someone broke into my car through the driver's side window. All I could think was how lucky I was to have found my credit card beforehand. Whew! There was glass everwhere but nothing was really stolen. Well, nothing of non sentimental value I guess. They could have taken my yoga mat or my blanket from the Sydney Olympics, but they didn't take that. I guess they didn't want my Amy Winehouse cd either-too bad for them.
My suspicion is that it was some high school kid from across the street that was attending a football game. I feel like someone older would try to take the radio or something else. Who knows? I'm just glad they didn't take my yoga mat-which is rather expensive, may I add. Who knew that centering oneself creates a need for an expensive styrophome mat? Oh yeah, I am also glad that it was a nice sunny day so I wasn't getting rained on when I drove home.
My insurance sent me to "Jimmy the Greek" to get my car window repaired. Well, technically the name is "Rochester Auto Glass" or whatever but everyone working there was greek. It turns out they had a window for my Jetta, but it wasn't the right window so I have to wait until Monday to get it replaced. Meanwhile, I have an ill fitting window on the driver's side. Oh well.
It's interesting to me-I have been going to that same fencing club for eighteen years and nothing has happened to my car or my parents' car, or any other car for that matter, in all that time. I am hoping this is just a fluke accident.
The other thing I observed about this situation was my instinctual reaction to start to protect myself. For example, I am not usually so cautious about leaving things in my car when I go into a store or sometimes I don't even lock my car when I am at home, but those little things began to look different to me. It just takes one time or one little incident to change your patterns. However, I refuse to think ill of the area because I spend so much time there but I can tell that my instincts about safety will change after this incident.
So-this blog wasn't so much about fencing but not everything is about fencing all the time. I definitely have more posts to come-I think I'm too much of a perfectionist sometimes to post some of the drafts. Maybe I should work on that when I use my expensive yoga mat at yoga class.
Around 6:30am I just decided to call it quits, get up, and get ready for my workout at the gym at 8am. When I got into my car I realized that I needed fill up the gas tank. Don't worry, the story/blog gets more interesting (just read on.). After I got gas I realized that I didn't have my credit card anymore. I spent twenty minutes at the gas station trying to look for my card. I even had the woman working at the gas station rewind the tape and see whether or not I dropped the card on the ground. By the way, this sort of scared me. How often are you on video tape without realizing it? I think I'm going to start dressing up more often-or maybe not.
After that debacle I headed to the gym. I still didn't have my credit card but I would be late with my appointment with Dave, my trainer, if I didn't leave the gas station. The workout was great. Two of my teammates joined me for the workout and it made things competitive but fun. I do have to say that I won one of the portions of the workout when we were timed-I'm not competitive.
After the gym I headed for morning practice. I did manage to find my card stuck on the side of the driver's side when I got out to head to the fencing club. Lucky me. Things seemed to be looking up-fencing practice was fun and productive-I thought that my day was starting to turn around.
But then......cue the music (dun dun dun). Someone broke into my car through the driver's side window. All I could think was how lucky I was to have found my credit card beforehand. Whew! There was glass everwhere but nothing was really stolen. Well, nothing of non sentimental value I guess. They could have taken my yoga mat or my blanket from the Sydney Olympics, but they didn't take that. I guess they didn't want my Amy Winehouse cd either-too bad for them.
My suspicion is that it was some high school kid from across the street that was attending a football game. I feel like someone older would try to take the radio or something else. Who knows? I'm just glad they didn't take my yoga mat-which is rather expensive, may I add. Who knew that centering oneself creates a need for an expensive styrophome mat? Oh yeah, I am also glad that it was a nice sunny day so I wasn't getting rained on when I drove home.
My insurance sent me to "Jimmy the Greek" to get my car window repaired. Well, technically the name is "Rochester Auto Glass" or whatever but everyone working there was greek. It turns out they had a window for my Jetta, but it wasn't the right window so I have to wait until Monday to get it replaced. Meanwhile, I have an ill fitting window on the driver's side. Oh well.
It's interesting to me-I have been going to that same fencing club for eighteen years and nothing has happened to my car or my parents' car, or any other car for that matter, in all that time. I am hoping this is just a fluke accident.
The other thing I observed about this situation was my instinctual reaction to start to protect myself. For example, I am not usually so cautious about leaving things in my car when I go into a store or sometimes I don't even lock my car when I am at home, but those little things began to look different to me. It just takes one time or one little incident to change your patterns. However, I refuse to think ill of the area because I spend so much time there but I can tell that my instincts about safety will change after this incident.
So-this blog wasn't so much about fencing but not everything is about fencing all the time. I definitely have more posts to come-I think I'm too much of a perfectionist sometimes to post some of the drafts. Maybe I should work on that when I use my expensive yoga mat at yoga class.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Weekend fun
It's a good thing that the weather is going to be cold in Rochester this weekend. The women's foil team is having a three day national camp at the Rochester Fencing Club-Saturday through Monday. Putting on all the fencing equipment (equivalent to a heavy blanket) isn't as tough when it's not as hot outside. I know, complain, complain.
This was my subtle way of saying that this is going to be a long weekend of fencing fun. The women's foil team is all here-or at least their plane just landed a few minutes ago. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again and getting ready as a team for the World Championships that is coming up in a few weeks.
Hopefully I will remember my camera this time so I can take some fun photos of the team for my blog. I know I always say it but it doesn't always seem to happen. I guess my excuse is that I am so focused on fencing that I can't be bothered with taking photos. It's not really the truth because the real truth is that I have a tough time remembering where I put the camera in the first place.
I want to leave you with an unrelated note. My parents are spending this evening at the October Fest. Not only that, my Mom brought her two Chinese friends with her. It sort of brings a smile to my face to think that my mom, two other Chinese people, and my German father are drinking beer, eating wursts, and listening to German music. Welcome to the Zimmermann family.
This was my subtle way of saying that this is going to be a long weekend of fencing fun. The women's foil team is all here-or at least their plane just landed a few minutes ago. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again and getting ready as a team for the World Championships that is coming up in a few weeks.
Hopefully I will remember my camera this time so I can take some fun photos of the team for my blog. I know I always say it but it doesn't always seem to happen. I guess my excuse is that I am so focused on fencing that I can't be bothered with taking photos. It's not really the truth because the real truth is that I have a tough time remembering where I put the camera in the first place.
I want to leave you with an unrelated note. My parents are spending this evening at the October Fest. Not only that, my Mom brought her two Chinese friends with her. It sort of brings a smile to my face to think that my mom, two other Chinese people, and my German father are drinking beer, eating wursts, and listening to German music. Welcome to the Zimmermann family.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Relax?
A raise of hands of all Americans reading this blog. How many of you know what the word relax really means? Do you even know what relaxation even entails?
This may seem counterintuitive to all of you but I have been spending most of my energies on trying to relax. Yes, I am currently getting ready for World Championships (coming up at the end of September/beginning of October) but my path to getting there has never been so interesting.
I'm a type A personality all the way. If there is a way to over achieve at something, I definitely know how to do it. I will always go above and beyond what I'm asked to do or what I think I'm expected to do. What can I say? I have German and Chinese parents. If that isn't organized, strict, and driven, I don't know what mix of cultures would be?
I had a serious talk with my coach over the summer about some things that I can do to improve my fencing for the next year. Her biggest concern? My ability to let go and relax. She asked me what I did for fun? I said, blog about my experiences and read informational books that will help me further my fencing. She said, no really, what do you do for fun? FUN? Relaxation? This was a crucial problem.
This conversation led me to take drastic measures (I'm an overachiever-there are no measures that aren't drastic). Over the summer I blogged about how I took the month of July off and did some other activities that didn't involve fencing. I think some of you commented that it seemed a little strange for someone training for the Olympic Games. Well, it would be strange if you didn't know me.
I would have to admit that I never really took a vacation or really relaxed in my life. I don't even know how to do it. I've been striving towards big goals my whole life-the Olympics, world championships, Stanford, overseas studies in Russia, working on a political campaign, etc. I don't know how to do things if they aren't done on a large scale.
So, here in lies the lesson and the title of this post. Now I am spending a lot of my energy on learning how to relax. Don't laugh. I'm serious. I've gotten into doing more yoga, stretching, and taking it easy on my body. This isn't to say that I am not intense on the strip when I fence, but I am learning about how to relax and be in the moment.
Yoga has actually been a great practice for that. When you are in a yoga pose you have to relax into the pose rather than work to push the pose if you want to get a benefit out of it. Yoga is my antithesis and practicing it has been an eye opening experience.
Of course I can't completely change myself. I went out and bought two yoga books, a yoga mat, cool yoga pants, and a pass to a yoga studio in town. I have come to love my antithesis because each class has become a time where I learn to unwind, slow down, breathe, and rediscover myself. For someone who is always about pushing, it has taken me a couple months just to breathe and let go. Letting go is my new "new agey" mantra. Let go, Iris. Let go.
Believe it or not I am starting to see some big results on the fencing strip. Not only am I more present and focused but I am actually relaxed enough to enjoy myself. I'm definitely grateful for these tools since I'm always a nervous wreck before big fencing tournaments. As a self-prescribed type-A personality I like to get really nice and anxious about three weeks before any big competition. Apparently I think that it's important to stress yourself out before you really stress yourself out. Good thing I found yoga to help me breathe.
So, through yoga I am learning how to relax and it has manifested itself into some major benefits on the fencing strip. Now, if only I could get my leg behind my head and then I could really do some damage on the strip.
This may seem counterintuitive to all of you but I have been spending most of my energies on trying to relax. Yes, I am currently getting ready for World Championships (coming up at the end of September/beginning of October) but my path to getting there has never been so interesting.
I'm a type A personality all the way. If there is a way to over achieve at something, I definitely know how to do it. I will always go above and beyond what I'm asked to do or what I think I'm expected to do. What can I say? I have German and Chinese parents. If that isn't organized, strict, and driven, I don't know what mix of cultures would be?
I had a serious talk with my coach over the summer about some things that I can do to improve my fencing for the next year. Her biggest concern? My ability to let go and relax. She asked me what I did for fun? I said, blog about my experiences and read informational books that will help me further my fencing. She said, no really, what do you do for fun? FUN? Relaxation? This was a crucial problem.
This conversation led me to take drastic measures (I'm an overachiever-there are no measures that aren't drastic). Over the summer I blogged about how I took the month of July off and did some other activities that didn't involve fencing. I think some of you commented that it seemed a little strange for someone training for the Olympic Games. Well, it would be strange if you didn't know me.
I would have to admit that I never really took a vacation or really relaxed in my life. I don't even know how to do it. I've been striving towards big goals my whole life-the Olympics, world championships, Stanford, overseas studies in Russia, working on a political campaign, etc. I don't know how to do things if they aren't done on a large scale.
So, here in lies the lesson and the title of this post. Now I am spending a lot of my energy on learning how to relax. Don't laugh. I'm serious. I've gotten into doing more yoga, stretching, and taking it easy on my body. This isn't to say that I am not intense on the strip when I fence, but I am learning about how to relax and be in the moment.
Yoga has actually been a great practice for that. When you are in a yoga pose you have to relax into the pose rather than work to push the pose if you want to get a benefit out of it. Yoga is my antithesis and practicing it has been an eye opening experience.
Of course I can't completely change myself. I went out and bought two yoga books, a yoga mat, cool yoga pants, and a pass to a yoga studio in town. I have come to love my antithesis because each class has become a time where I learn to unwind, slow down, breathe, and rediscover myself. For someone who is always about pushing, it has taken me a couple months just to breathe and let go. Letting go is my new "new agey" mantra. Let go, Iris. Let go.
Believe it or not I am starting to see some big results on the fencing strip. Not only am I more present and focused but I am actually relaxed enough to enjoy myself. I'm definitely grateful for these tools since I'm always a nervous wreck before big fencing tournaments. As a self-prescribed type-A personality I like to get really nice and anxious about three weeks before any big competition. Apparently I think that it's important to stress yourself out before you really stress yourself out. Good thing I found yoga to help me breathe.
So, through yoga I am learning how to relax and it has manifested itself into some major benefits on the fencing strip. Now, if only I could get my leg behind my head and then I could really do some damage on the strip.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
The pursuit of happiness
Just that phrase alone, "the pursuit of happiness", brings up 17,122 titles when entered into amazon.com's search engine. It's pretty amazing. There must be a lot of people out there trying to find happiness. (Insert "duhhh" here.)
Even the Dalai Lama wrote a book with that title, but from what my mom says, it's basically all the same mumbo jumbo-"in order to find happiness you must not look for it". Whatever that means. (Not that I have read the book but I am sure the Dalai Lama has a great formula for happiness.)
If I could give anything to the world it would be this joy I feel while trying to pursue my goal of making the Olympic team in a sport that I love. There are so many times that I want to give up. There are so many hills to climb. There is a lot of fund raising to be done, but at the end of the day, I'm here because I love to be here in this moment.
This past year after a frustrating loss, I asked my coach what was the point of doing all this competition and all this work if I am not winning? Nat looked at me with a bit of shock and began to tell me, very slowly, all the reasons why she put so much of her time and energy into fencing. She said, "I love the way the foil feels in my hand. I love the look on my students' faces when they finally get an action. I love the people in the sport-even though a lot of them are nutty. I love the way the floor of this fencing gym feels underneath my feet. I love going to competitions and trying my best even if there is a chance that I may lose, at least I gave it everything I had."
When she said all this my first reaction is that this woman must be crazy. She has to be weak. Why do anything at all if you can't win? I love fencing because I win a lot-or at least I used to.
Let me break from that conversation to side track to one I had last week with the very esteemed fencer and one of my good friends, Keeth Smart. Keeth reads my blog, which is an honor since this guy is not only a wonderful fencer but a wonderful human being.
Anyways, last week Keeth and I were talking about fencing, more specifically about my fencing. He said that he always admired my fencing and the way I used to laugh, joke, and seem to have so much fun while I was competing. We both agreed that it had been a long time since I was really like that until now.
This past week in Mont Tremblant at the Pan-American zonal championships I finally felt like myself. I feel like I have personally been on hiatus for a while but I am finally back-enjoying the sport.
I would like to think that this new found joy has come through understanding the value of the process and more importantly understanding what Nat was trying to tell me. What does it feel like to me to put that foil in my hand, bend my knees to get in en garde, and face my opponent? What does it feel like when I am bending my blade, taking my time, and trying to think of my next move? The feeling is indescribable and for this blog's sake I am going to call that feeling, happiness. Joy in the moment.
I've done a lot of work over this summer to get to the place I am now and I can honestly say that I feel lucky to have the opportunity to pursue my sport. Not just to make an Olympic team (although that is the goal) but to have an opportunity to do something for myself. Sounds kind of selfish but I believe that in trying to make myself into a better fencer, I am able to make myself into a better person, therefore being able to give back. Now hear me out. I hope that I can set an example and help some of the other kids coming up through the ranks. Also, I am very flattered to get an email once in a while from a close friend that says they gain inspiration and strength from my risks in order to go after their own personal goals. That to me is the highest form of flattery.
There are a lot more times than I would like to admit, that I find this journey too hard. Sometimes I decide that this is it and I can't possibly go on. But the best part is when I somehow find the strength to pick myself back up again in time to find out that I am stronger and can endure more than I think. And I am most thankful for this portion of the journey. Inner strength is nothing that can be bought or just found-you have to work to (as my friend "Master Chi" would say)-make that flame that already exists inside you grow and burn brighter.
Enough of this new agey business. My hope is that everyone finds something fulfilling to pursue that makes them question themselves, challenge themselves, and ultimately find them more whole and stronger than they could have ever imagined. I feel very lucky for this opportunity.
Even the Dalai Lama wrote a book with that title, but from what my mom says, it's basically all the same mumbo jumbo-"in order to find happiness you must not look for it". Whatever that means. (Not that I have read the book but I am sure the Dalai Lama has a great formula for happiness.)
If I could give anything to the world it would be this joy I feel while trying to pursue my goal of making the Olympic team in a sport that I love. There are so many times that I want to give up. There are so many hills to climb. There is a lot of fund raising to be done, but at the end of the day, I'm here because I love to be here in this moment.
This past year after a frustrating loss, I asked my coach what was the point of doing all this competition and all this work if I am not winning? Nat looked at me with a bit of shock and began to tell me, very slowly, all the reasons why she put so much of her time and energy into fencing. She said, "I love the way the foil feels in my hand. I love the look on my students' faces when they finally get an action. I love the people in the sport-even though a lot of them are nutty. I love the way the floor of this fencing gym feels underneath my feet. I love going to competitions and trying my best even if there is a chance that I may lose, at least I gave it everything I had."
When she said all this my first reaction is that this woman must be crazy. She has to be weak. Why do anything at all if you can't win? I love fencing because I win a lot-or at least I used to.
Let me break from that conversation to side track to one I had last week with the very esteemed fencer and one of my good friends, Keeth Smart. Keeth reads my blog, which is an honor since this guy is not only a wonderful fencer but a wonderful human being.
Anyways, last week Keeth and I were talking about fencing, more specifically about my fencing. He said that he always admired my fencing and the way I used to laugh, joke, and seem to have so much fun while I was competing. We both agreed that it had been a long time since I was really like that until now.
This past week in Mont Tremblant at the Pan-American zonal championships I finally felt like myself. I feel like I have personally been on hiatus for a while but I am finally back-enjoying the sport.
I would like to think that this new found joy has come through understanding the value of the process and more importantly understanding what Nat was trying to tell me. What does it feel like to me to put that foil in my hand, bend my knees to get in en garde, and face my opponent? What does it feel like when I am bending my blade, taking my time, and trying to think of my next move? The feeling is indescribable and for this blog's sake I am going to call that feeling, happiness. Joy in the moment.
I've done a lot of work over this summer to get to the place I am now and I can honestly say that I feel lucky to have the opportunity to pursue my sport. Not just to make an Olympic team (although that is the goal) but to have an opportunity to do something for myself. Sounds kind of selfish but I believe that in trying to make myself into a better fencer, I am able to make myself into a better person, therefore being able to give back. Now hear me out. I hope that I can set an example and help some of the other kids coming up through the ranks. Also, I am very flattered to get an email once in a while from a close friend that says they gain inspiration and strength from my risks in order to go after their own personal goals. That to me is the highest form of flattery.
There are a lot more times than I would like to admit, that I find this journey too hard. Sometimes I decide that this is it and I can't possibly go on. But the best part is when I somehow find the strength to pick myself back up again in time to find out that I am stronger and can endure more than I think. And I am most thankful for this portion of the journey. Inner strength is nothing that can be bought or just found-you have to work to (as my friend "Master Chi" would say)-make that flame that already exists inside you grow and burn brighter.
Enough of this new agey business. My hope is that everyone finds something fulfilling to pursue that makes them question themselves, challenge themselves, and ultimately find them more whole and stronger than they could have ever imagined. I feel very lucky for this opportunity.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Cultural sensitivity
As if I didn't already have enough to do. This weekend the USOC is flying prospective Olympians to a small conference for two days in D.C. The Olympic Committee is actually holding this same conference in California and Colorado Springs for the athletes out on the west coast.
I haven't received a lot of information about why this is manditory but from what I heard from some poeple I gathered the following. The USOC is worried about the image of American athletes so we are going through media training (been there and done that) and some "cultural sensitivity training". Seriously? I could teach the Chinese culture class. What is really going on?
I'm intrigued as to why we have to go through this. My only guess is that there are a lot of other athletes in other sports that are causing problems because if a fencer at this level doesn't understand how to interact with other cultures, you must not be a good fencer. We travel so much that we should be able to deal with these situations and the lot of us have been through this before.
I wonder if there could be an exemption. The upside to this is that I get to reunite with some of my friends from the Beijing Press Tour and perhaps see some of my other athlete friends this weekend.
I'll let you know how it goes. Oh yeah, my mother said I am probably not Chinese enough and have to go through the training. My father thinks I'm too German, that's why I am told to go to D.C. this weekend to partake in the conference. Either way-I'm headed to D.C. on Friday.
I haven't received a lot of information about why this is manditory but from what I heard from some poeple I gathered the following. The USOC is worried about the image of American athletes so we are going through media training (been there and done that) and some "cultural sensitivity training". Seriously? I could teach the Chinese culture class. What is really going on?
I'm intrigued as to why we have to go through this. My only guess is that there are a lot of other athletes in other sports that are causing problems because if a fencer at this level doesn't understand how to interact with other cultures, you must not be a good fencer. We travel so much that we should be able to deal with these situations and the lot of us have been through this before.
I wonder if there could be an exemption. The upside to this is that I get to reunite with some of my friends from the Beijing Press Tour and perhaps see some of my other athlete friends this weekend.
I'll let you know how it goes. Oh yeah, my mother said I am probably not Chinese enough and have to go through the training. My father thinks I'm too German, that's why I am told to go to D.C. this weekend to partake in the conference. Either way-I'm headed to D.C. on Friday.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Community
I just wanted to take a moment to comment about the Rochester community. There are a number of reasons why I felt that training in Rochester would be better than my experience with NYC in 2004. First, it's where I grew up and my family lives here but more importantly it is the sense of community I feel here that has really brought me back here to train for the 2008 Games.
There may not be as much money circulating in Rochester but everyone is willing to contribute something once they find out that I am training for the Olympics. For example, the woman that I does my eyebrows (every Olympian needs a good eyebrow waxer!)-she put a picture of me up in her salon and always undercharges me for her services. Not to mention all the much needed advice she gives me when I'm in her chair.
Another example-the man who gives me massages spends at least a half an hour (last time an hour!) with me before the massage to catch up and make sure he understands everything that is going on. Then, he doesn't charge me for the two hours we have spent together. He's just interested in being a part of the journey. Another example-my chiropractor decided not to charge me for visits. He just wants to help me out and he is also interested in being part of my journey.
Oh yeah one more-the other day I went to Foot Performance in order to get new orthodics for my fencing shoes and Chris, one of the podiatrists there, spent a lot of time with me in order to get things right. He also knew my mother-talk about a small town. You can't get inserts for your shoes without running into someone that knows someone in your family or social network.
The same is true for the people at my fencing club here in Rochester. I attended an end of summer party with some of the Rochester Fencing Club group and most of the parents stopped to ask me how I was and offer any help that I may need along the way. They are appreciative that I'm around at the club to help coach their children but I assure them that it's always a joy to teach kids about fencing. I definitely feel like the club is an extension of my family.
The list goes on. Even when I'm in casual conversation in Rochester in some small cafe or bookstore, someone is interested in what I am doing and willing to help me in their own way. I can't believe the amount of generosity in this community. I am not sure this is what Hillary meant when she said it but, "it takes a village" to support an athlete going for their ultimate dream.
It's hard to compare NYC with Rochester in regards to training for the Games because I understand the very nature of a big city-you have to make money to survive. Also, if I can't offer you something in return then it's hard to help a person out. Olympians are also a dime a dozen there, not to mention not as important as all the celebrities and other VIPs that live in NYC. Who am I?
But in Rochester I'm some sort of hometown hero. It's very flattering and in some ways very funny. I am very grateful to this community for coming together and helping me out. I'm very lucky to live in a city that's big enough to have more than one Wal-Mart but small enough that people know my name when I get my eyebrows waxed. :)
I am off to Montreal tomorrow. I will have updates when I get back next weekend. Have a great week!
Thanks to all my friends and family in Rochester! :) I will be thinking of you.
There may not be as much money circulating in Rochester but everyone is willing to contribute something once they find out that I am training for the Olympics. For example, the woman that I does my eyebrows (every Olympian needs a good eyebrow waxer!)-she put a picture of me up in her salon and always undercharges me for her services. Not to mention all the much needed advice she gives me when I'm in her chair.
Another example-the man who gives me massages spends at least a half an hour (last time an hour!) with me before the massage to catch up and make sure he understands everything that is going on. Then, he doesn't charge me for the two hours we have spent together. He's just interested in being a part of the journey. Another example-my chiropractor decided not to charge me for visits. He just wants to help me out and he is also interested in being part of my journey.
Oh yeah one more-the other day I went to Foot Performance in order to get new orthodics for my fencing shoes and Chris, one of the podiatrists there, spent a lot of time with me in order to get things right. He also knew my mother-talk about a small town. You can't get inserts for your shoes without running into someone that knows someone in your family or social network.
The same is true for the people at my fencing club here in Rochester. I attended an end of summer party with some of the Rochester Fencing Club group and most of the parents stopped to ask me how I was and offer any help that I may need along the way. They are appreciative that I'm around at the club to help coach their children but I assure them that it's always a joy to teach kids about fencing. I definitely feel like the club is an extension of my family.
The list goes on. Even when I'm in casual conversation in Rochester in some small cafe or bookstore, someone is interested in what I am doing and willing to help me in their own way. I can't believe the amount of generosity in this community. I am not sure this is what Hillary meant when she said it but, "it takes a village" to support an athlete going for their ultimate dream.
It's hard to compare NYC with Rochester in regards to training for the Games because I understand the very nature of a big city-you have to make money to survive. Also, if I can't offer you something in return then it's hard to help a person out. Olympians are also a dime a dozen there, not to mention not as important as all the celebrities and other VIPs that live in NYC. Who am I?
But in Rochester I'm some sort of hometown hero. It's very flattering and in some ways very funny. I am very grateful to this community for coming together and helping me out. I'm very lucky to live in a city that's big enough to have more than one Wal-Mart but small enough that people know my name when I get my eyebrows waxed. :)
I am off to Montreal tomorrow. I will have updates when I get back next weekend. Have a great week!
Thanks to all my friends and family in Rochester! :) I will be thinking of you.
Friday, August 24, 2007
beijing photos
Many of you aren't on facebook where I have logged most of my photos from Beijing. If you want to check them out you can go to the following link:
http://stanford.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2084973&l=7b354&id=209614
http://stanford.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2084973&l=7b354&id=209614
Sunday, August 19, 2007
week by week
This past week was certainly a long one in terms of training. There is nothing like throwing yourself back into the swing of things. Well-it's a little more planned out than that but it definitely feels like my break during July is a distant memory.
Over the weekend the women's foil team got together with some other fencers for a training camp. It was a great three days and I think we accomplished a lot in getting ready for the Zonal Championships that are coming up. We are leaving for Mont-Tremblanc a week from tomorrow. For those of you that have never heard of Mont-Tremblanc, I believe it's a mountain resort town about two hours from Montreal.
My parents and I have been discussing having them come to the tournament to watch since it's only about seven hours away from Rochester. This is definitely a development especially because my parents never really come to fencing tournaments. I think the last time they saw me fence was in Sydney seven years ago. My how the time goes. It's not that my parents aren't supportive but but they think this is more my thing and they don't really know much about fencing anyways.
I'm still thinking about them going. I don't think it will really affect me mentally but it would be nice to have them around for support. It's always nice to turn around and see your parents standing behind you and cheering.
As for this week we still have lots of practices to go before we leave for Canada. My two US teammates Hanna and Doris are here for the week (Hanna actually came back to Rochester to train) and we should have some good practices.
Viva la vida fencing.
Over the weekend the women's foil team got together with some other fencers for a training camp. It was a great three days and I think we accomplished a lot in getting ready for the Zonal Championships that are coming up. We are leaving for Mont-Tremblanc a week from tomorrow. For those of you that have never heard of Mont-Tremblanc, I believe it's a mountain resort town about two hours from Montreal.
My parents and I have been discussing having them come to the tournament to watch since it's only about seven hours away from Rochester. This is definitely a development especially because my parents never really come to fencing tournaments. I think the last time they saw me fence was in Sydney seven years ago. My how the time goes. It's not that my parents aren't supportive but but they think this is more my thing and they don't really know much about fencing anyways.
I'm still thinking about them going. I don't think it will really affect me mentally but it would be nice to have them around for support. It's always nice to turn around and see your parents standing behind you and cheering.
As for this week we still have lots of practices to go before we leave for Canada. My two US teammates Hanna and Doris are here for the week (Hanna actually came back to Rochester to train) and we should have some good practices.
Viva la vida fencing.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Iris online
Here are some links to articles/pictures of the Goodwill Tour.
This is an excerpt of a blog we did for nbc sports online.
http://universalsports.nbcsports.com/blogs/post/8
Below are links to the Chinese online articles about the tour. Most of you probably can't read Chinese but there are some good photos on some of them.
http://www.beijing2008.cn/news/official/ioc/n214118913.shtml
http://www.aoyunchina.com/html/aytp/094223193.shtml
http://2008.sohu.com/20070803/n251406819.shtml
http://www.thefirst.cn/90/2007-08-03/110545.htm
http://news.vnet.cn/2007news/20070803/217798.html
http://pic.people.com.cn/GB/1100/6070552.html
http://www.chinanews.com.cn/tp/tyxw/news/2007/08-03/994591.shtml
http://sports.sina.com.cn/o/p/2007-08-03/16053079879.shtml
http://cn.sports.yahoo.com/07-08-/367/29po6.html
http://sports.sohu.com/20070802/n251387681.shtml
http://2008.sohu.com/20070803/n251406815.shtml
This is an excerpt of a blog we did for nbc sports online.
http://universalsports.nbcsports.com/blogs/post/8
Below are links to the Chinese online articles about the tour. Most of you probably can't read Chinese but there are some good photos on some of them.
http://www.beijing2008.cn/news/official/ioc/n214118913.shtml
http://www.aoyunchina.com/html/aytp/094223193.shtml
http://2008.sohu.com/20070803/n251406819.shtml
http://www.thefirst.cn/90/2007-08-03/110545.htm
http://news.vnet.cn/2007news/20070803/217798.html
http://pic.people.com.cn/GB/1100/6070552.html
http://www.chinanews.com.cn/tp/tyxw/news/2007/08-03/994591.shtml
http://sports.sina.com.cn/o/p/2007-08-03/16053079879.shtml
http://cn.sports.yahoo.com/07-08-/367/29po6.html
http://sports.sohu.com/20070802/n251387681.shtml
http://2008.sohu.com/20070803/n251406815.shtml
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
The countdown
So, where were you and what were you doing a year out from the Beijing Olympic Opening Ceremonies?
As most athletes and coaches training for the games know, today was the year mark. There were festivities in Beijing's Tiananmen Square. I am sure the celebration in China was fabulous even though all was quiet here in the states.
Are we all getting excited for the Games? I suggest booking your tickets/hotels/event tickets sooner than later. This is the time that things start to sell out. I believe a lot of the larger hotels in Beijing's center are selling out quickly.
In honor of today I spent the entire morning and afternoon/evening training, sweating, and thinking of Beijing.
A big toast to Beijing! :) I hope we are all there together a year from now.
As most athletes and coaches training for the games know, today was the year mark. There were festivities in Beijing's Tiananmen Square. I am sure the celebration in China was fabulous even though all was quiet here in the states.
Are we all getting excited for the Games? I suggest booking your tickets/hotels/event tickets sooner than later. This is the time that things start to sell out. I believe a lot of the larger hotels in Beijing's center are selling out quickly.
In honor of today I spent the entire morning and afternoon/evening training, sweating, and thinking of Beijing.
A big toast to Beijing! :) I hope we are all there together a year from now.
Jet lag
It's 1am and I should really be getting some sleep. Unfortunately I am WIDE AWAKE. Oy! My Mom says meditation. My father says warm milk. My sister says tylenol PM. I think I'll try to tire myself by writing on my blog.
I have a short story about today. This morning I woke up at 5am to say good-bye to Felicia who flew back to her job in Dallas. I went back to sleep and woke up again around 9am (9pm China time). I thought that eating breakfast would wake me up but I almost fell asleep in my orange juice..and that's not easy since it's a small glass. My father came down to talk to me during breakfast but he couldn't understand me-my father with the super thick German accent couldn't understand me. Time to go back to bed.
So, I went to bed around 9am only to be woken up by a door bell around 1pm (oopss for sleeping that long). It was another representative for USADA wanting to take a sample. Yet again I had to drink four cups of water, one mug of coffee, and it took an hour for me to produce another sample. Ugh! At least I know the routine now and I wasn't trying to make a flight to Beijing.
I worked out and went to the fencing club to meet with my coach. We are starting up again with our training tomorrow.
Alright, I can't avoid bed anymore. Time to take my jet lagged self to bed.
I have a short story about today. This morning I woke up at 5am to say good-bye to Felicia who flew back to her job in Dallas. I went back to sleep and woke up again around 9am (9pm China time). I thought that eating breakfast would wake me up but I almost fell asleep in my orange juice..and that's not easy since it's a small glass. My father came down to talk to me during breakfast but he couldn't understand me-my father with the super thick German accent couldn't understand me. Time to go back to bed.
So, I went to bed around 9am only to be woken up by a door bell around 1pm (oopss for sleeping that long). It was another representative for USADA wanting to take a sample. Yet again I had to drink four cups of water, one mug of coffee, and it took an hour for me to produce another sample. Ugh! At least I know the routine now and I wasn't trying to make a flight to Beijing.
I worked out and went to the fencing club to meet with my coach. We are starting up again with our training tomorrow.
Alright, I can't avoid bed anymore. Time to take my jet lagged self to bed.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
The art of being Chinese
A reporter from USA Today asked me whether or not I suffered from some sort of schizophrenia because I'm American with a Chinese/German background. I told him in a very diplomatic way that I felt American first and foremost and have a lot of pride in both of my heritages. However, my mother's push for me to understand the Chinese culture probably caused me to feel more Chinese than German growing up. Not to mention the fact that when most Americans look at me they see someone who is of an asian persuasion.
I actually thought about this question a lot as I wandered around China. When I am out amongst the Chinese I am most definitley a foreigner-an American. Some of the Chinese people don't think I look at all Chinese but I think that's mostly because I dress and act like an American/westerner. But the truth is I feel more at home here with my look than in the United States.
Growing up in Rochester, NY as a half-asian half-German mixed kid was not easy. At least in SF and NYC people see mixed race kids all the time. In elementary school days the popular thing was to taunt the Asian kid (that was me most of the time) with, "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these." Pretty clever but still made me upset all the same. I just didn't see how I was any different from the rest of the American kids-at least before they started separating me by race.
High school was a bit different in that I was never around and traveling to multiple international tournaments during the year. I was just known as the "fencer girl" so race wasn't as big an issue as my athletic career.
College was an interesting one. I never felt a bigger pull towards being Asian than I did in college. I think there is a tendency to really try and identify yourself within groups and I was the asian girl in my group of four friends at Stanford. I always seemed to pair up and make friends with minorities at Stanford. You want to stand out someway. I wasn't into the Chinese community because I never really felt like I embraced all of the culture-I was a halfy and they had their own group anyways, the happas.
Coming here to Beijing was another step in my self-identification. I definitely don't feel Chinese since my language skills leaves a lot to be desired but I was chosen to be on the Beijing Goodwill Tour because of my asian looks/background. Also answering questions to the Chinese press I felt a greater sense of pride for my Chinese brothers and sisters-they are in the midst of building the greatest Olympics of my time.
I feel more Chinese now than I ever did. After visiting Beijing I want to go home and ask my Mom to speak Chinese to me on a daily basis. I doubt that I will keep it up but it's worth the thought at least.
The best thing about being Chinese (or even half-Chinese) in China is that I finally feel in some way I fit in, even with my American clothes and loud laughter. Here my eyes and facial features on the billboards, television, and everywhere I go. I'm pretty here and not some sort of "exotic" girl some dude might bring home to Mama. I'm "normal" here and my look is normal here. The U.S. may be a melting pot but the broth, vegetables, meat, and other ingredients don't really mix together.
It's nice to open a magazine and finally feel as though I have a familiar face staring back at me and not somee green eyed blonde haired actress. It's nice to feel pretty and it's nice to feel that I am finally part of a community.
Don't get me wrong though. I love being American. I think about how wonderful our country is all the time (well, a tiny bit less so since the 2000 elections) but I still feel as though the melting pot needs to be stirred up a bit more.
Alright, enough of this blogging. It's time to wave goodbye to the Beijing Hilton, grab my bags, and make my way back to the US of A. See you on the west side!
I actually thought about this question a lot as I wandered around China. When I am out amongst the Chinese I am most definitley a foreigner-an American. Some of the Chinese people don't think I look at all Chinese but I think that's mostly because I dress and act like an American/westerner. But the truth is I feel more at home here with my look than in the United States.
Growing up in Rochester, NY as a half-asian half-German mixed kid was not easy. At least in SF and NYC people see mixed race kids all the time. In elementary school days the popular thing was to taunt the Asian kid (that was me most of the time) with, "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these." Pretty clever but still made me upset all the same. I just didn't see how I was any different from the rest of the American kids-at least before they started separating me by race.
High school was a bit different in that I was never around and traveling to multiple international tournaments during the year. I was just known as the "fencer girl" so race wasn't as big an issue as my athletic career.
College was an interesting one. I never felt a bigger pull towards being Asian than I did in college. I think there is a tendency to really try and identify yourself within groups and I was the asian girl in my group of four friends at Stanford. I always seemed to pair up and make friends with minorities at Stanford. You want to stand out someway. I wasn't into the Chinese community because I never really felt like I embraced all of the culture-I was a halfy and they had their own group anyways, the happas.
Coming here to Beijing was another step in my self-identification. I definitely don't feel Chinese since my language skills leaves a lot to be desired but I was chosen to be on the Beijing Goodwill Tour because of my asian looks/background. Also answering questions to the Chinese press I felt a greater sense of pride for my Chinese brothers and sisters-they are in the midst of building the greatest Olympics of my time.
I feel more Chinese now than I ever did. After visiting Beijing I want to go home and ask my Mom to speak Chinese to me on a daily basis. I doubt that I will keep it up but it's worth the thought at least.
The best thing about being Chinese (or even half-Chinese) in China is that I finally feel in some way I fit in, even with my American clothes and loud laughter. Here my eyes and facial features on the billboards, television, and everywhere I go. I'm pretty here and not some sort of "exotic" girl some dude might bring home to Mama. I'm "normal" here and my look is normal here. The U.S. may be a melting pot but the broth, vegetables, meat, and other ingredients don't really mix together.
It's nice to open a magazine and finally feel as though I have a familiar face staring back at me and not somee green eyed blonde haired actress. It's nice to feel pretty and it's nice to feel that I am finally part of a community.
Don't get me wrong though. I love being American. I think about how wonderful our country is all the time (well, a tiny bit less so since the 2000 elections) but I still feel as though the melting pot needs to be stirred up a bit more.
Alright, enough of this blogging. It's time to wave goodbye to the Beijing Hilton, grab my bags, and make my way back to the US of A. See you on the west side!
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Beijing Press Tour
(tried to post this last night Beijing time but it didn't go through-this is try number two.)
A few things before I head off to bed. I have been trying to make some posts for the past few days but the computer hasn't logged me on. I don't know what is going on-it's a conspiracy. I finally have the chance tonight so I am going to post some of the articles I have been in-well, besides the chinese articles because I am not sure how to find those on the web.
I have a ton of photos coming to you when I get home-lots of the rest of the group and the Great Wall of China adventure I had today. I also have some thoughts to share but they may have to wait until tomorrow because I AM BEAT! Climbing all those steps were tough and it just keeps going. Did you know that the Great Wall was more than 3,000 miles in length!
Articles and some short articles with photos:
USA Today story
Democrat and Chronicle
AP photo
ESPN photowire
ESPN photowire
ESPN photowire
ESPN photowire
A few things before I head off to bed. I have been trying to make some posts for the past few days but the computer hasn't logged me on. I don't know what is going on-it's a conspiracy. I finally have the chance tonight so I am going to post some of the articles I have been in-well, besides the chinese articles because I am not sure how to find those on the web.
I have a ton of photos coming to you when I get home-lots of the rest of the group and the Great Wall of China adventure I had today. I also have some thoughts to share but they may have to wait until tomorrow because I AM BEAT! Climbing all those steps were tough and it just keeps going. Did you know that the Great Wall was more than 3,000 miles in length!
Articles and some short articles with photos:
USA Today story
Democrat and Chronicle
AP photo
ESPN photowire
ESPN photowire
ESPN photowire
ESPN photowire
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
BEIJING
I AM FINALLY IN BEIJING! Woot!
I am currently sitting in the very swanky Beijing Hilton typing away at my blog. I'm so excited to be here especially having met some of the other athletes here with me on the Goodwill Tour. I had a great ride from the airport to the hotel with a fellow Olympian in the sport of badminton. I have lots to tell you about that but first I have to tell you all about my adventure getting to Beijing.
I woke up early Tuesday morning so I could finish my last minute packing and do a few more things on my checklist before I left for the airport. This is one of the rare moments before traveling that I took extra time to get ready and double check my packed bags.
As I was munching on my breakfast around 8am, with an hour left until I had to get to the airport, a woman shows up at my door.
"Hi, I'm here to do out of competition drug testing. Please pee into this cup."
And I'm thinking to myself, you have GOT to be kidding me. I'm glad I left myself more time but I wasn't expecting to give a doping control sample. Unfortunately I had just visited the restroom not ten minutes earlier so I couldn't give her anything right away.
My parents greeted her at the door as if she was an invited guest to the house. They gave her the royal Zimmermann treatment of coffee and breakfast. My Dad even offered her a bag full of vegetables (cucumbers, squash, and some dill for good measure) from our garden. Seriously? I have to pee in a cup for this woman and my parents are treating her like the Queen of England. They are good people-what would they do if the Queen of England actually showed up? Perhaps sell her the house?
Here I was, face to face with this woman who interrupted my preparations for the airport so I could pee into a cup. I finished my egg and started to drink as much as I could and as quickly as I could. The countdown began. At this point I hoped that my biological processes would kick in because I only had t-minus thirty minutes until it was too late to make the flight to Dulles.
I was still drinking and had no desire to visit the restroom at T-minus fifteen minutes. Then, the phone rang and it was for me this time. What is going on? The phone doesn't usually ring early in the morning unless someone calls for my mother and it's usually never for me.
It's the sports writer from the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle newspaper wanting an interview about the Beijing Goodwill Tour. I'm glad that he did call because he's a great writer and recently did a wonderful article on my comeback to fencing. I explained my predicament to him and told him I had a few minutes to conduct the interview until my "sample" was ready. He laughed.
We conducted the interview and it actually took longer than I expected. It's T-minus 5 minutes, I'm in the middle of the interview and I realized that I have to get to the restroom.
I didn't really want to stop him from asking me questions because we were in a "flow" (no pun intended) at this point. The interview was going really well so here was my predicament-the clock was ticking, I didn't want to interrupt him, and I had to pee.
So, I grabbed the cup, the doping control woman followed me upstairs, I pressed the phone between my ear and my shoulder and I filled the cup up to the maximum line. Mind you-I was still on the phone conducting the interview.
The sports writer does actually read this blog every once in a while but I hope he chooses to skip over this blog entry.
T-minus one minute-I had a full cup in my hand and I finished the interview. Oh yes, I make sure to wash my hands-don't worry.
T-minus thirty seconds and I am signing the dotted line for the sample.
Then the door bell rings. Apparently people can detect when you are behind schedule.
My father answers it and it is someone from DHL delivering a package for me. So, it's actually good that I got caught up with the doping control woman because I needed to bring this package with me to Beijing. It's a bunch of fencing pins that I can give out to the media and anyone that we meet during the Beijing Goodwill Tour.
I shoved the pins in my bag, threw my bag in the car, and just made the flight. Everything went well and I even scored four seats in the middle row on the way from Dulles to Beijing. I spent most of the flight sleeping and the thirteen hours seemed to fly by (well, sort of). I did have to fight a couple people and a flight attendant for the four seats but it was definitely worth it. I am hoping for the same sort of luck on the way home on Sunday.
I'm going to get off of this computer and start exploring. I did bring my camera but unfortunately I didn't bring the attachment to plug it into the computer. Nothing is ever perfect or goes to plan I guess. However, I do plan to put some pictures up of my Beijing adventures when I get back stateside.
Have a good Wednesday! :)
I am currently sitting in the very swanky Beijing Hilton typing away at my blog. I'm so excited to be here especially having met some of the other athletes here with me on the Goodwill Tour. I had a great ride from the airport to the hotel with a fellow Olympian in the sport of badminton. I have lots to tell you about that but first I have to tell you all about my adventure getting to Beijing.
I woke up early Tuesday morning so I could finish my last minute packing and do a few more things on my checklist before I left for the airport. This is one of the rare moments before traveling that I took extra time to get ready and double check my packed bags.
As I was munching on my breakfast around 8am, with an hour left until I had to get to the airport, a woman shows up at my door.
"Hi, I'm here to do out of competition drug testing. Please pee into this cup."
And I'm thinking to myself, you have GOT to be kidding me. I'm glad I left myself more time but I wasn't expecting to give a doping control sample. Unfortunately I had just visited the restroom not ten minutes earlier so I couldn't give her anything right away.
My parents greeted her at the door as if she was an invited guest to the house. They gave her the royal Zimmermann treatment of coffee and breakfast. My Dad even offered her a bag full of vegetables (cucumbers, squash, and some dill for good measure) from our garden. Seriously? I have to pee in a cup for this woman and my parents are treating her like the Queen of England. They are good people-what would they do if the Queen of England actually showed up? Perhaps sell her the house?
Here I was, face to face with this woman who interrupted my preparations for the airport so I could pee into a cup. I finished my egg and started to drink as much as I could and as quickly as I could. The countdown began. At this point I hoped that my biological processes would kick in because I only had t-minus thirty minutes until it was too late to make the flight to Dulles.
I was still drinking and had no desire to visit the restroom at T-minus fifteen minutes. Then, the phone rang and it was for me this time. What is going on? The phone doesn't usually ring early in the morning unless someone calls for my mother and it's usually never for me.
It's the sports writer from the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle newspaper wanting an interview about the Beijing Goodwill Tour. I'm glad that he did call because he's a great writer and recently did a wonderful article on my comeback to fencing. I explained my predicament to him and told him I had a few minutes to conduct the interview until my "sample" was ready. He laughed.
We conducted the interview and it actually took longer than I expected. It's T-minus 5 minutes, I'm in the middle of the interview and I realized that I have to get to the restroom.
I didn't really want to stop him from asking me questions because we were in a "flow" (no pun intended) at this point. The interview was going really well so here was my predicament-the clock was ticking, I didn't want to interrupt him, and I had to pee.
So, I grabbed the cup, the doping control woman followed me upstairs, I pressed the phone between my ear and my shoulder and I filled the cup up to the maximum line. Mind you-I was still on the phone conducting the interview.
The sports writer does actually read this blog every once in a while but I hope he chooses to skip over this blog entry.
T-minus one minute-I had a full cup in my hand and I finished the interview. Oh yes, I make sure to wash my hands-don't worry.
T-minus thirty seconds and I am signing the dotted line for the sample.
Then the door bell rings. Apparently people can detect when you are behind schedule.
My father answers it and it is someone from DHL delivering a package for me. So, it's actually good that I got caught up with the doping control woman because I needed to bring this package with me to Beijing. It's a bunch of fencing pins that I can give out to the media and anyone that we meet during the Beijing Goodwill Tour.
I shoved the pins in my bag, threw my bag in the car, and just made the flight. Everything went well and I even scored four seats in the middle row on the way from Dulles to Beijing. I spent most of the flight sleeping and the thirteen hours seemed to fly by (well, sort of). I did have to fight a couple people and a flight attendant for the four seats but it was definitely worth it. I am hoping for the same sort of luck on the way home on Sunday.
I'm going to get off of this computer and start exploring. I did bring my camera but unfortunately I didn't bring the attachment to plug it into the computer. Nothing is ever perfect or goes to plan I guess. However, I do plan to put some pictures up of my Beijing adventures when I get back stateside.
Have a good Wednesday! :)
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