Inspirational video

My sports psychologist sent me this link:

http://www.walkthetalk.com/the212movie.php?refsource=tyorders

Let me know what you think.

Being positive-who knew?/fencing camp is fun/a lesson from an elephant

SERENITY NOW

They should bottle up positive attitudes so you can drink it up when you really need it. When I woke up this morning I was still positive, and still waiting for the other shoe to drop. The day progressed and still no fall out from the previous day. Then practice came around, still nothing. I even got suited up for some fencing and things went well-actually, they went better than I ever thought. I went in expecting nothing and I ended up practicing for almost two hours.

Apparently positive energy works. Who knew?

I spent a long time getting angry when things didn't go my way and things progressed much more slowly. Imagine how much more productive we could be if we had greater perspective on all things.

FENCING CAMP IS FUN

The women's foil team is coming to the Roc for a camp this weekend. We are getting ready for the international season, which starts next week with our first world cup in Austria.

I am looking forward to seeing the girls again!

A LESSON FROM AN ELEPHANT

You can learn a lot from elephants. I heard the following story at church this past Sunday, and I thought I would pass it along. It sort of goes with my "Risks" post.

There was an young elephant that was tied to a post. One day he decides that he wants to break free from the post. He tries and tries only to find that he is still tied to the post. One day he just gives up and decides that he should just accept his lot in life. This is his life, tied to a post. Little does he know that the post is just about to break and set him free.

The line between success and failure is very thin. Will you continue push for what you want even if it doesn't come easy?

Big girls don't cry

Remember when we were little kids we could throw tantrums to express our frustration? Wahhhh..wahhh...Mommy, I want this or I want that! Or in my case, wahhh, things aren't going the way I want them too!

When we get older we aren't allowed to have these types of tantrums however, what becomes of that emotion? How do we express ourselves when we actually "mature"? Yoga, organic food, supplements, smoking cigarettes, getting into bad relationships perhaps?

I ask these questions because today was one of those days where I could have used a "feel free to throw a hissy fit and cry because it doesn't matter how old you are" card. But the interesting part is that I didn't, and I am not sure what to think. If I am not getting angry in this moment then where does that frustration go? Have I swallowed it into a well where it will overflow once something else adds to my frustration? Or have I actually learned how to deal with my emotions?

Today was the day that I started fencing again after the famous pinky incident. I took the splint off, put the fencing glove on, tapped the two end fingers together, and gave it a try. The first few minutes were okay because we were doing very simple stuff in my one-on-one lesson, but when things got a bit more complicated, the finger started to hurt.

I could start to feel the emotions rising inside of me. I wonder if any of you have ever felt frustration like this? It begins deep in my stomach and slowly rises up into my chest, then it sends a signal to my brain that it's time to react or cry.

The voice (or the "irrational Iris" as I like to call her) started in with her two cents, "You aren't going to be ready. You are leaving for your first world cup of the season next week Wednesday, and you aren't ready. Why is it when things start to get good, you get injured? What were you thinking-you're so dissapointing? Is this always going to hurt like this? Is this yet another thing you have to worry about? Why me, oh God, why me?" Irrational Iris has the most amazing stream of conciousness because it just never stops and spirals into a million other thoughts. She's very verbose.

Her voice got louder at the same moment when the handle of my weapon started to really press against the inside of my hand right at the injury. At which point, I knew that I would either crack or just explode right there on the spot. Believe me, I was going to have a full blown meltdown. BUT, I didn't.

I am still not sure why. I am guessing that after all this time working with a sports psychologist, the positive mental attitude permeated my entire thought process. Apparently it helps to calm me down in situations where I am in physical pain as well. The work I have been doing allowed me to listen to the "rational Iris" as she countered with, "let's look at the big picture here. Is this really going to affect your chance at Beijing? It's just a pinky and you will do whatever it takes to get past this. What happens now doesn't determine what your year and a half will be like. You can get through this because you are tougher than that."

You must think I'm insane. Well partly, because to dedicate one's life to poking people with a sword is a bit insane.

However, I do think that we have two sides to ourselves, one with perspective and the other that always insists on bringing up the negative. I have just decided to name them rational and irrational Iris. You can laugh later but apparently it's helping me get through my roadblocks.

Or maybe not. I am still not sure why I didn't react as strongly to this situation. I am not sure how I was able to maintain composure and perspective. I worry a bit that this is sort of the "serenity now" scenario from Seinfeld. It's the bit where Kramer decides that serenity now is a phrase that he can use to calm himself down but it just ends up making him more crazy because he isn't dealing with what is really annoying him.

Either way I still have to wake up tomorrow and face another day at practice. My hope is that the pain becomes gradually less over the next week so that I feel more prepared for my trip to Austria and Germany.


On another note: I forgot to mention a while back that Serena "the great" Williams is back. She just won the Australian Open the other week. Now that is a comeback story.

Risks-what's the point?

A lot of people told me I was taking a big risk in my life in order to train for yet another Olympic games. I was definitely one of those people that felt that I was taking a giant leap (although slightly more calculated than my parents thought) when I moved from California and my post-college life as "Iris the career woman".

The career woman life doesn't just include steps in the direction of money and career but it is also a path in my personal life. I don't often talk about this portion of my training but it is very real. An Olympian's life is not conducive to the popular mid-twenties personal life. With a crazy training and traveling schedule you can forget about dating, going out, and meeting new people on a regular basis.

My goal is very intense and very personal, so it means that I am the main focus of my life at the moment, which is not so great for forming good friendships or relationships in general. Perhaps I take the goal a little too seriously but I am pretty sure that it is hard for most athletes to keep a strong social calendar.

So the question is, with all the sacrifice, what's the point? What if you go to the Olympics and take dead last? What if you don't make the team? What if you win? What if? What if? Why does any of this matter?

I put some thought into that because it is dangerous to go on auto-pilot and assume that while you are in pursuit of a goal, you truly understand the point of the whole thing. You have to ask yourself, do you have perspective? Because if you don't and things don't go the way you suspect, you have to have the presence of mind to understand that there was a purpose and that you did try your best.

So, back to the answer of the question-why take the risk to train again for the Olympics if you aren't gauranteed a spot? Why come back when things are so hard, you have to earn money to travel, you live with your parents, you are continuing to make the same sacrifices? Why, Iris, why? (I am sure these are questions that you have wanted to ask me.)

The answer is best summed up in the story of my teammate and the exerpt of a letter our coach wrote to him after an unsuccessful tournament.

The Story of Z

This season started like any other for Z (I am not going to use his whole name here) with national competitions and training. However, he quickly discovered after the first few tournaments that he could possibly make a junior world championship team. This was no small feat for Z since he never showed that much promise in fencing-when he was younger he was a little slow, awkward, and never seem to get things as quickly as his peers. Nevertheless, he plugged along and continued on in the sport.

This year after a the first few national tournaments, Z decided that he would make a run for the team and compete internationally. In this sport if you don't go overseas then you can't make the team (just look at my schedule on the right hand side of the blog). His parents, a middle class family with two other children, had to take on side jobs in order to get him to these fencing tournaments. Not to mention putting all the trips onto credit cards first. Z definitely understands how much people around him, including himself, have put into his goal which heightens his anxiety and nervousness.

Unfortunately, the last few tournaments were not as stellar and pushed him down the ranking list. Right now he is looking at an alternate position but he continues to pursue his dream with passion and heart.

What is the point for Zach and his parents? Doesn't this seem extreme for him? His parents taking the risk and putting expensive trips on credit cards just so he can wear a sweatsuit that says USA Fencing on the back? Can't he just save the money and buy his own?

I think you will be able to find the answer for yourself in the following passage from a letter that our coach wrote to Z after his last oversease competition.

Pay attention because she is much more articulate than I am.

I think it's essential, in the pursuit of the good life, to have lofty goals which are difficult to reach. Sometimes we do reach them, which is wonderful and often euphoric. But we don't always get there, so what is the value of reaching so high? It is the process.

.....you are pursuing a sport in which you put yourself on a strip alone, very publicly, have to think quickly, demonstrate the highest of physical skills, and maintain your composure. You have to call on all the physiological capabilities you have even when you are so tired you want to throw up or collapse on the floor, remember everything you trained to execute, and remember all the strategies we discussed without the benefit of your personal coach. As long as you never give up, even if you don't accomplish what you hoped for in a particular bout you are successful.

Why do Z and I pursue these goals? The answer is much less concrete than if I do x and then I will get y, but it is much more existential in nature.

We risk because these goals are greater than ourselves and teach us about who we are and what we are capable of. I think it's boring to pursue life without risk-sit behind a desk just because we are told to. Sometimes making a personal leap will make you happier beyond your wildest dreams. Because without great struggle there cannot be the opposite, great success.

I wish you courage and strength to pursue the things that you truly care about. I know that everyone's life isn't just so, so that they can choose what they want to do. But I believe if you truly feel strongly about something, you have to do yourself the justice of at least trying.