Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Printemps

What is it about the springtime, the warm weather, the sunny days, that bring such clarity of mind? The longer days also help to brighten up my mood because I don't feel like I need to roll up all the day's activities within the hours of 9-3pm.

I had a great practice tonight so I'm all smiles. This was my first practice back from the European tour and it went really well because I could tell that my fencing had jumped many levels in the last month. One of my teammates even complimented me on some new tactics and skills I learned.

For the first time I really felt in control of my fencing and didn't feel at any moment that I didn't have an answer for something my opponent was doing. Most of all my emotions were completely in check, and all my focus was on the task at hand-fencing each touch and fencing each bout. For the first time I was able to let things go around me and just focus. This is a big deal for someone that is so observant about the world around her. I woudl always worry about what this person is thinking of me, what is going on around me but at practice today, I was focused on me and my opponent, that was it.

Casey FitzRandolph, my speedskating mentor extraordinaire, would always tell me-do your best each and everyday whatever that may be. Ask yourself, "what is the best that Iris can be TODAY?" And today the statement finally sunk in.

As I sat in the locker room facing a sign where I wrote Casey's words, I felt like I was finally there. After months of struggling through changing my fencing style, trying to rid myself of past problems, breaking my finger (let us not forget that), and everything else I went through, I felt like I finally lived his words. Something has clicked inside me and I feel like I have truly become this new fencer. I'm no longer the old, no longer stuck in the past but I'm a hybrid-the past, present, and the hopeful future. I am finally letting myself be the best that I can be without second guessing myself.

It's hard to look back and admit to myself that, even at the start of the season, I wasn't ready for the challenge. Maybe physically but mentally I wasn't there yet, and still had to step into my new role on the team and my new role in the international world of fencing. But I do have to say that I feel renewed with more perspective and strength than I ever had. The best part is that there is more to come and more exciting things waiting to happen.

I am looking forward to getting more training in this month but I am most excited about my attitude. These past few days I have gotten up in the morning and just smiled at the thought that I would head to the gym or the fencing gym to work on the next few steps towards something great. My happiness has really come along and I am enjoying myself rather than worrying about what other people say or think and despite any of my doubts or negativity.

I had so much energy left over after practice that I just went to the gym and worked out for another hour just because I was feeling so great about practice. It may seem like a crazy thought but the gym has always been a fun place for me-my own place of zen. I guess in some ways it's better to think of the gym that way since I spend so much time there.

The lesson for today-Working on and maintaining a positive attitude can sometimes do more for progress than chipping away at the skill itself. I don't mean a positive attitude of just telling yourself that things are good, but actually feeling it mind, body, and soul-inside and out. Law of attraction. If I am positive that something is going to happen and if I am positive in general-I will draw more things that are positive in my direction. If I wake up each morning thankful that I have the time and skill to make the Olympic team-what can come from it but good?

I'm so happy that it's springtime-renewal, rebirth, and joy.

(Small disclaimer here. There is much work still to be done and not each day will feel as wonderful as today. The ups and downs are just the nature of things but at least I feel stronger to deal with them mentally and emotionally. Also, big steps were made last month and I wanted to acknowledge the hard work paying off.)
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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This segement reminds me of when I first began fencing in 1970. Shortly after I began my "struggles" I was introduced to one of the best "fencing books" ever written. It is call 'The Inner Game of Tennis' by Timothy Gallwey. I have since recommended to many people over the year after I became a fencing coach. The premise of the book was if you just let yourself go, the body instinctively knows what to do. Then you merely refine the actions. Reading about your day brought the thought of this book to mind. Here is an excerpt I copied to share with you:

A phenomenon when first published in 1972, the Inner Game was a real revelation. Instead of serving up technique, it concentrated on the fact that, as Gallwey wrote, "Every game is composed of two parts, an outer game and an inner game." The former is played against opponents, and is filled with lots of contradictory advice; the latter is played not against, but within the mind of the player, and its principal obstacles are self-doubt and anxiety. Gallwey's revolutionary thinking, built on a foundation of Zen thinking and humanistic psychology, was really a primer on how to get out of your own way to let your best game emerge. It was sports psychology before the two words were pressed against each other and codified into an accepted discipline.

Bon Temps! Mon Ami!

11:40 PM
Iris said...

"Every game is composed of two parts, an outer game and an inner game." The former is played against opponents, and is filled with lots of contradictory advice; the latter is played not against, but within the mind of the player, and its principal obstacles are self-doubt thaand anxiety.

Very well put, Steve. I think that at this point in my career the inner game is the most important element to master because it can help to control other moving parts. For example, if I am able to control the stress of competition I can do two things-allow the things I have worked on come to fruition and control the outside environment. Fencing is a sport that is full of "outer games". The referee, the crowd, the coach, etc. If we control our inner selves we are better able to control our reactions to these unpredictable events and outside influences.

I've worked just as much on my mental preparation as I have on my physical preparation. At the highest level of sport, the only thing that sets the better apart from the best is the mental game.

Thanks for the comments, Steve! Keep 'em coming!

11:32 PM
Anonymous said...

When I began fencing most fencing instructors would not take a student younger than 14. The reason was because although a much younger person could perform the actions [albeit with surprising speed and agility]they lacked the mental maturity for reasoning and developing the "inner game". As you know, it takes more than mimicking actions or muscle memory to make a mature well rounded fencer. The protocol for those times dictated that Fencing Masters would not give a lesson to a student if that student had less than two years experience and then only if said student had been observed by the Maestro and deemed worthy of his time and knowledge. That was one of the things that drew me to the sport and every fencer's goal of those times was to achieve "worthiness". Only then did you know you would begin "The Journey." Over the years the protocol changed to our current system and I feel a little sorry that those changes have taken place. I feel we lost something important. Almost like a "coming of age" experience. Having said that, your awareness of your new challenge of finding your inner game relative to age 26 is going to open up a whole new path for you. You obviously have the physical "chops" Finding your mental "chops" will be like putting on a mask and snorkel when you go under water. You will begin to see things you never saw before and you will have clarity that will place your strengths on a surprising level. You will notice you don't have to be "faster" or "younger". You most certainly will be smarter and more efficient. For many years the younger "Turks" couldn't understand why they weren't mopping the floor with me but rather the other way around. It was because I had mental maturity. I had both pieces of the puzzle to which they only had one. You are about to have both and Iris, you are going to have one heck of a great time with it! It is exciting to hear of your discovery and I am predicting greater successes for you because of it.

Hang in there "Grasshopper"

1:19 AM

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