Flag on the play

There are a lot of sports that rely on referees and subjective judging. Think about figure skating or gymnastics. You wouldn't think that a sport that started off with dueling where the victor lived and the loser well, you know the rest, would rely so heavily on referees.

But fencing, more specifically the disciplines of sabre and foil, rely on judges to make the call as to which fencer had priority and is awarded a point. This is called "right of way".


WARNING: Long explanation ahead. For those of you who don't want to know all this technical stuff about fencing just move on.

Rules of Right of Way as explained by the US Fencing Association

Right of Way is a theory of armed combat that determines who receives a point when the fencers have both landed hits during the same action. The most basic, and important, precept of right of way is that the fencer who started to attack first will receive the point if they hit valid target. Naturally, fencer who is being attacked must defend themselves with a parry, or somehow cause their opponent to miss in order to take over right of way and score a point. Furthermore, a fencer who hesitates for too long while advancing on their opponent gives up right-of-way to their opponent. A touch scored against an opponent who hesitated to long is called an attack in preparation or a stop-hit, depending on the circumstances.

Additionally, the referee may determine that the two fencers truly attacked each other simultaneously. This simultaneous attack is a kind of tie - no points are awarded, and the fencers are ordered back en garde by the referee to continue fencing.

Please click HERE for more information on rules and more explanations on the sport of fencing.
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Basically, the referee in the sport has a lot of power to determine whether or not you win, so it is really important to make sure you have a referee that abides by the rules. Let's just get real here-sport is not immune to bribery, bias, and politics. Come on, we all know this.

Thus-the international fencing federation has decided to implement the following at the World Championships this year.


1) VIDEO REPLAY

This will allegedly take place from the table of 32 on in the individual events, and from the table of 8 in the team events.
(Supposedly after halt due to a light, the ref will review the last three seconds of action and then make the call.)



2) CHALLENGES (this is like football when the ref has to review the call)

Same as above, top 32 and top 8.

A fencer will have up to 3 challenges per Direct Elimination bout. In the team, a fencer will get one challenge per bout.

***The challenge will be reviewed by the ref and the Head Referee

***If the challenge is successful, the fencer maintains the amount of challenges he/she started with.

***If the challenge is unsuccessful, the fencer receives a warning. Another warning would result in a touch against the fencer.



There are a few comments here:

1. As a fencer I find this totally distracting but I am not going to worry about it. I have decided that if there is a problem, I will let my coach handle it. But all in all this prolonges an already long match.

2. There are a lot of times where a bout is 14-14 and the person wins on a bad call by the referee (bouts in direct elimination go to 15 touches). I can't imagine winning, having the call for me, and then a replay of x amount of minutes has just reversed the win. Wow-so when you win you may not really win. This brings me back to Florida...2000...hanging chads...anyone?

3. Postive: The video replay and challenges can act as a deterrent to bad referees, bribed referees, or biased referees but there are a few questions here.
Is every ref going to be on the same page, meaning an attack to one could not look like an attack to another referee? (For someone who doesn't fence, there are a lot of subtleties in the game at this level) And, how can I trust that the head referee isn't going to be biased? Is this just a waste of time?

Ultimately all changes in fencing occur as an effort to increase viewership of the sport and in turn marketability. Fencing federations are driving themselves (and the fencers) crazy by trying to change the way the game is played just to make it appealing to the viewer.

There was a stint with a clear mask but the Plexiglas was determined to be too unsafe. My sister, an engineer, had some of her friends test the durability and the safety of the mask when the mask first came out. Her friends just laughed and said-I can't believe you would wear this while someone is jabbing a weapon at your face. It's a good thing the FIE did all this useful testing AFTER all fencers were required to wear the mask during competition. Once again, the athlete is compromised in the name of commercialism. Let me not get into it.

In the end I think the video replay is going to be distracting and I think it will be distracting for the viewer.

The question to the audience is-what do you think about video replay in fencing? Is there ever going to be a way way to change the sport of fencing to make it more marketable? And at what point will enough be well, enough? Where do we draw the line between compromise and selling out our sport?

How to get info on World Championships

World Championships in Turin, Italy, starts in eight days. I have posted a couple of links in the right hand column of the blog that will help you find results as they come in. I think the most helpful link to get up to the minute results will be either the official website for the worlds or the Fencing.net site. The US Fencing website is extremely unreliable on a general basis therefore I would not rely on it for timely information. Don't get me started about how the official US Fencing website was down during the 2004 Olympics, right after a USA fencer won the first ever Olympic gold. Like I said, don't get me started.

Of course I will do what I can with the blog. I may not post for a while starting on Tuesday because I'll be en route to Italy and preparing for the competition.

Just an FYI for any of you interested. I have posted my week's schedule so you know what's up in Iris World for the time I am away:

Tuesday 2pm EST-leave for Italy
Wednesday 11am (European Time Zone)- arrive in Italy, take the day off and enjoy a nice bowl of Italian pasta :)
Thursday - Morning/early afternoon training with my coach and light practice with my team
Friday- rest day. I plan to take the day off completely, away from the fencing gym, and stroll along the River Po. It's not all fun and games..I am just trying to keep myself occupied so I don't think about how nervous I really am.
Saturday- Individual event Day 1 Rounds
Sunday-Individual event Day 2-Direct Elimination Table from 64 fencers
Monday-Wednesday-watch video tapes and practice before team event
Thursday-Team event


I am really excited to have the opportunity to stay in the Winter Olympic Village in Turin. The rumor is that we get bikes to ride around the village. I forsee disaster. I will be one of THOSE bikers with elbow, knee, shin, shoulder, full body pads and a big helmet. Perhaps I should just stay away from the bikes.

It also turns out that my ex-boyfriend is competing the same days as I am. May I mention that he was my boyfriend of almost four years and we were dating while I trained for the last Olympic Games. My, how times have changed.

I will post over the weekend because I have a few things to discuss before I leave. I just wanted to make sure everyone had the 411 on World Championships

Next blog...video replay is now making it's way into fencing. REF! Flag on the riposte? More on that soon.

Countdown...one week until lift off

The latest national/international camp at the Rochester Fencing Club finished this past Sunday. Like the Rochester airport, I am allowed to call this an international camp because there were Canadians here. Then you ask-Iris, if the camp ended on Sunday why haven't you blogged in a few days? The answer is-I feel like I haven't had a moment's rest in the past two weeks. I'm not complaining-I rather be doing this than sitting in an office cubicle everyday.

For this blog post I have a few issues to bring up:

1. The new Sesame Street character "Iris the Scary Fencing Monster".

2. Billie Jean King, take two

3. Countdown to World Championships

Issue One

During the camp I had some of the fencers videotape the women's foil team in order to evaluate strengths and weaknesses of our games. Sometimes watching videotapes can be sort of demoralizing because it shows every painful fault of your game. This time around was no different. Like every top level athlete I am a perfectionist, so I cringed with every drop of the shoulder, a lazy move, or improper judgement of timing and distance. Most of all, I was caught off guard by how scary I looked on the strip.

Yes folks, I am 5'8" and xxx lbs. (a lady never reveals her weight) of scariness. I had no idea. Rather than elegant, I thought I was elephant on the strip. Does the camera add ten pounds or am I just THAT much bigger than the rest of the USA women's foil team?

I panicked and thought to myself that this can't be good. I felt like I was probably exposing too much of my target as I come forward and try to push my opponent into making a mistake. While I take a lot of risks trying to be more aggressive, a lot of the shorter and smaller women are more patient and wait for an opportunity or opening. So what is the right answer for fencing? Is it better to be tall and big or short and small?

There are girls on other teams that are tall and athletic like myself, Russians, Chinese, and Germans (interestingly enough I am a combo of German and Chinese). The Chinese and Russian teams used to seek out the tallest girls to fence because the length was more of an advantage. The Japanese, Italian, and Romanian teams have shorter women who move very quickly and effectively.

Analysis for short women: they tend to move faster and have less target area.
Analysis for tall women: have more length and are more often stronger than their shorter opponents.

The real answer is that fencing is a neat sport because you can be any body type and fence according to your own physical and emotional strengths. The sport itself is pretty accomodating to everyone's abilities.

In the end I guess it's a good thing if I scare my opponents. Just as long as I score more touches than they do. It might not be all that pretty but I get my point across (all puns intended).

Issue Two

There have been several comments about the Billie Jean King blog. Darius, a fencer at the RFC, actually wrote a long comment with some questions. My answer to him is that women and men should not compete against each other but rather recognize that women and men play sports differently. Therefore, it's time to compare women to women rather than the traditional, "she plays like a man so of course she's good" .

Issue Three

I leave for Torino, Italy, the site of the 2006 Fencing World Championships, next Tuesday. I compete on September 30th, October 1st, and again on the 5th. Things are getting sort of hectic in Rochester and I'm getting those pre-competition jitters. Self-doubt has a great way of getting louder as you get closer to the moment of performance.

Goethe quote

Please pay special attention to the "Quote of the Day" attributed to German philosopher, Johann Wolfgang Goethe. This is the quote that my coach, Nat Goodhartz, said to me back at the beginning of June when I finally decided I wanted to train for Beijing. And I can't tell you how right she and Goethe have been.

Sometimes we allow real and created boundaries to keep us from doing the things we are most passionate about in our lives. If you truly feel you are drawn to doing this one thing don't be afraid to take that risk because once you make the commitment you will be surprised how things start to fall into place.

The quote:

The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise
occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising
in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and
material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come
his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has
genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."
— Attributed to Goethe

Camp, camp, and more camp

The women's foil team is having our last national camp before worlds from Friday to Sunday. This camp is going to be like none of the others with ALL members of the four person women's foil team together at last. One of the team members, Emily Cross, has been wearing a boot for the last month in order to heal some fractured bones in her foot so she has been unable to attend the other camps. It's a great opportunity for us to practice fencing as a team.

I am not sure if everyone reading this blog is aware that the sport of fencing has both an individual and team component to it. There is an individual event that lasts two days and a team event that usually takes place a few days after the individual event. There are three members of the team that fence and one alternate that is put in as needed. For example, the alternate would be put in when someone is injured or does better with a certain country or competitor. The three members of the USA team fence the three members of the other team in a 45 touch relay with timed intervals of three minutes.

In addition to the women at camp we have several top level men coming to fence with us from around the US and Canada. It's going to be tough because men tend to be much more mobile and agressive on the fencing strip. Remember, women are no better or worse, we just fence and play sports differently. Please refer to my last blog post for explanation.

This should be a great opportunity to get prepared for the upcoming World Championships. I am really excited to see everyone and fence some difficult bouts before heading off to Torino. This is it folks, we are coming down to the wire.

Thank you, Billie Jean King

Last night at practice I fenced one of the many seventeen year-old boys at the fencing club and managed to beat him pretty solidly. He was not happy and it definitely showed. Our coach had to pull him aside and speak to him about the match and general sportsmanship. During their conversation he told her, since he beat me once, he should be able to beat me from then on. Interesting.

I've thought a lot about the situation because I couldn't understand why he would be so upset? Afterall, I have twenty years of practice, fifteen years of competitive experience, world championship titles, olympian, etc. And this boy, although he's tall, athletic, and young, still doesn't have enough skill to beat me on a consistent basis. I just couldn't understand his frustration and why he would be so upset that I was beating him.

Then I thought about my time in Russia and fencing in Moscow with some of the top guys at the army club. To be honest, I couldn't beat a lot of them if I really tried because they over powered me all over the strip, but some of the younger guys I did beat. BUT-most of them wouldn't fence me unless their coach told them too and got angry with them if they would refuse to fence me. I thought about that too. Am I a bad fencer, awkward, annoying, a bad sport? Not really.

Then I thought about my friend Nicole that plays professional women's basketball. I know men watch everything and anything that says ESPN on it so why was the viewership of the WNBA finals so low? Why do men make a face and shrug when I even ask them if they are going to watch the WNBA finals?

Is it the same reason as one man I met the other week who said that he only watches tennis when Maria Sharapova plays? He said that it was too much to watch Serena Williams and she shouldn't even be wearing those tennis outfits because she's too muscular. I wonder if he even knows who Billie Jean King
is?

So, what does this add up to?

Some of you may have already guessed at the point I'm driving at with my first example or with the title of this blog, but I wanted to make sure that I get my point across.

Whether or not you are beating men in sports or playing sports that were traditionally dominated by men because women weren't ALLOWED to play, there is an obvious double standard. Yeah women can play sports but they have to look cute while doing it..and oh yeah, they shouldn't be able to beat men. I mean isn't it just genetics?

Hold on, I'm just getting on this soapbox because this chip on my shoulder is a big one. I just need a little help from the founder of the women's sports foundation and pioneer for women in sport.


Billie Jean King then and now.



“It is very hard to be a female leader. While it is assumed that any man, no matter how tough, has a soft side . . . any female leader is assumed to be one-dimensional.”
--Billie Jean King


Preach on, sister!


I know some people will read this and think that I've just gone off the deep end but I want this issue to be discussed and more importantly, addressed.

So listen up!

1.Women can do everything that men can do. We just do it differently. There is more than one way to play a sport.

2.Respect us if we play a sport well and don't just say it's because we played it like a man did. Billie Jean King beat Bobbie Riggs on Sept. 20, 1973 playing like a woman.

3.We sweat, get over it!

4.Athletic women are allowed to be any sexuality. AND WHY DOES IT MATTER ANYWAYS? Last time I checked sports were about competition and not romantic relationships. Why aren't men questioned about the hugs they give each other when they are on the football field?

5.A woman is still a woman even if she has muscles. She is allowed to be strong and feminine at the same time. I can't tell you how many times someone told me I was too big because I was muscular. A lot of women athletes fear being too muscular because they don't want to be seen as masculine, butch, or ugly. Women come in all different shapes and sizes. P.S. Men don't look all too great while they are playing sports either, but because we as a society believe that sweaty men=manly=hot then we believe that sweaty men are good looking. No, they're just stinky.

6.Don't be afraid that she can outrun you, out fence you, out play you because it is going to happen. GET OVER IT!


We should not allow gender to be a standard for sports, jobs, or life. If someone made a derogatory statement about someone's race then people are upset but people accept comments that men's basketball is more interesting-this means that we have truly missed the point and settled for disrespect. A different way to play the game does not equal less interesting.

The boy at the club didn't want to admit that he lost to a woman. I know if he lost to a male of my national ranking he would be upset but not to the extent he was when he fenced me. Aretha Franklin said it best, R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

At this year's US Open, the US Tennis Assocation officially renamed the National Tennis Center in Flushing, N.Y. after legendary tennis player Billie Jean King. Rather than honor her as the woman that beat a male pro tennis player, or as a decorated tennis player, or even as a visionary and pioneer for female athletes. I would like to honor her for being a woman who could hit the crap out of that tennis ball. Thanks, Billie Jean.

Back from Penn State

Hey everyone! I'm back from Penn State. I had a great time training with my friends and wish I could have stayed longer. I'm currently getting ready for another week of training and our last national camp before world championships.

Friday to Sunday will be the final camp before Worlds. This camp is going to be amazing with a bunch of top fencers from the states and Canada.I can't believe I'm leaving for Torino, Italy in a little over two weeks-anyone else nervous?

On the fundraising front. I'm not really making a ton of progress but I think with a little more patience things will start to happen. I have to spend this week putting together a portfolio for possible donors and sponsors. I hope raising money for myself will count towards something when I apply for business school in a few years. One can only dream.

Hope everyone is doing well! :)

Happy Valley

I'm going to Penn State tomorrow morning to practice with some of the Penn State team members. With the new school year starting and many of the Rochester Fencing Club members back at college, I don't have a ton of partners to practice with in Rochester. Much like boxing it's important to have sparring partners in order to practice and perfect technique.

One of the freshman at Penn State, Doris Willette, is on the world championship team this year. While I have been away from the sport, Doris has sky rocketed herself to the top of the national rankings. In Doris' early days of fencing she used to look up to me as I was one of the top women's foilists at the time. Now it is I who look up to her for encouragement and advice.

The changing of the guards between Doris and I, so to speak, made me think of how athletes evolve in their sport and the finite period of time in which an athlete has to be the best. Because the simple fact is, one minute you are the young phenom at the top of the world rankings, and the next minute you are bested by a person that grew up watching your every move. Look at Andre Agassi as a prime example. This past week Agassi ended his career at the US Open after playing opponents that were equal in age to the number of years Agassi had been playing tennis. Despite all that he still finished at the top of his game after with a crowd full of fans and a standing ovation.

Not that I think I am anywhere near the fame of Andre Agassi, but I would say that his example rings very true to what I've experienced coming back to the sport. I have been fencing nearly twenty years and Doris has been alive for only eighteen years. I am the oldest team member on the world team and the only one with Olympic experience. Sometimes I wish I could go back to when I was a rising star because at that moment I never thought that the medals and accolades would ever stop. The bottom line? Make the most of this moment because it will never again be this day, this hour, this minute, or this second.

A thank you is in order for Doris because she has been a huge support in my comeback to fencing. It's not often you find a teammate that is willing to put aside competitive drive to compliment you as well as provide thoughtful and constructive criticism for the purpose of improvement.

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As a side note-the Sacramento Monarchs are now tied in the finals of the WNBA championships with the Detroit Shock. The next game is on Saturday at 3:30pm EST on ESPN 2.

Also, an interesting tid bit. I had a meeting today with someone that is helping me with my fundraising efforts. At some point in the conversation she asked me how I wanted potential sponsors to portray me if they were to use my image for marketing purposes. I.E. Sharipova-her catch is that she's beautiful and wears dangly earrings. Serena Williams-her thing is that she's a very strong athlete from the hood. While I struggled to come up with an adjective to effectively describe what I wanted people to see in me-she wrote the word "INTENSE" down. I'm not sure how many products I can sell with my intensity but at least I know how I'm perceived. Am I that intense? Don't answer that.

Dust

I helped to start a remodeling effort at the Rochester Fencing Club a few weeks ago. Over the years the fencing club had turned into something like Grandma's old knick-knack closet with a community of dust bunnies and their offspring living in a growing metropolis of dust. Yes, it was that bad. The RFC has definitely gone through a face lift in the last few weeks and we've added a few things like a cafe, reception desk, and some new furniture.

I must of been crazy or hopped up on episodes of Extreme Makeover to want to begin this type of project. At least on Extreme Makeover they have people who know how to use power tools, know how to decorate, have sponsors like Home Depot, etc. Until now, I had me, myself, and I.

My cleaning efforts have sort of sparked a revolution of sorts at the Rochester Fencing Club. A few parents are getting involved by re-upholstering the couches, donating a table for a cafe/reception area, another mother is painting quotes and logos on the wall, etc. Everyone is taking this pretty seriously and this project has turned itself into Extreme Makeover "the budget version".

The lesson in all of this is people are willing to help out if you just give them a reason and some good solid encouragement. Everyone wanted to see changes made in the club but they didn't know whom to go to or what needed to be done exactly. Someone needed to be a central force in gathering people and telling them what needed to be done. If nothing else, I am excellent at telling people what to do. Some may call it "bossy" but I call it "effective teamwork coersion".

The question is why would I take on this project?

The surface answer that I give is, I wanted to change the club into something all the members could be proud of. This is really important since we are having so many national team camps in Rochester. Not to mention, I think it's a good thing for the members to feel invested in and inspired by this small sports community.

My real answer? Sometimes the past doesn't allow us to move on with the future.

A short history lesson.

The Rochester Fencing Club, as it is called now, used to be the Rochester Fencing Centre up until Buckie (my old coach) left. Twenty-five years ago Buckie built the fencing club in Rochester, first in downtown Rochester and fifteen years ago at the current location. When I say built, I mean built with his two hands. The lockers, the cabinets, the desks, the design of the entire place is his. Quite literally his thumbprint is everywhere in that club.

Soon after I went to college Buckie left Rochester, leaving a trail of burned bridges in his path. He was the centralizing force for the program and everyone thought that the RFC would be toast in his absence. I admit I probably thought that too since I followed Buckie to NYC to train for the 2004 Games.

Now he works in NYC in the shadow of what he once created here in Rochester. At one point in 1996 he coached about ten of the top-12 women in the states and Rochester was a world-reknowned training facility. But he isn't the man I remember him to be at Rochester Fencing Centre-the driven and crazy visionary who would stop at nothing to make champions.

You have to understand that this man was like a father to me. I spent more time with him on the road and in the fencing club than I did with my parents. I don't want to go into too much detail on this forum about what kind of coach he was because I think it's too personal.

The short of it is, he was a brutal coach at times, very controlling, and almost stifling. His approval permeated every aspect of my life. His every word was taken as absolute truth because he made us into champions whether we liked it or not. I learned hard work through him but with a lot of pain in return.

At this moment it's still very strange to be fencing without him-I don't even ask him for advice anymore. The most surreal experience happened at Nationals this year when he coached one of his younger students against me. He did it so loudly that I was too distracted to fence and ended up not scoring more than one touch on this girl.

I heard he uses me as an example to his students, "Iris would never cry even when I was yelling and hitting her". Because of that there are some young girls in NYC that look up to me but I would like to tell them my secret. The secret is that I wanted to cry, but I was too angry and afraid.

With everyone's help I'm going to dust off all the corners, cover all the cracks in the walls, give everything a new coat of paint but I do realize now that he is underneath all the layers. I will never be able to erase him from the club or from my life. He was there at the best and worst moments. I will always miss him and he will always be a part of me whether I like it or not.

Swing of the pendulum

When the pendulum swings towards a more positive trajectory we start to see the world in a completely different light. It's funny--I think the sun is even out today after a period of rain and dark clouds. Or maybe I haven't even noticed the weather because I've been carrying around a dark storm cloud over my head for the last week and a half.

I was wrong about that Dr. Slick, and perhaps I should start calling him Dr. Nice Guy because he delivered good news yesterday. After seeing the MRI he confirmed that there is no new tear in my meniscus. Whew! I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

All this good news was followed by several good things:

1. The Sacramento Monarchs won their first game in the WNBA Finals. Next game against the Detroit Shock is on Friday and can be seen on ESPN 2 7:30pm EST.

2. I had a great therapy session followed by a great lesson this morning.

3. It's a month out from the first day of World Championships and I am finally feeling strong and ready.

This is all in stark contrast to yesterday.

When days are good I can silence the negative thoughts but when the days are bad those negative thoughts somehow find their way to a loud speaker. Yesterday I allowed those negative thoughts ("you're not good enough" and "you can't do this" and "you'll never be able to do this") to cripple me and I couldn't continue working. My coach had to stop the lesson half way through because I could no longer execute the simplest actions. Nat then sat me down and took some time to talk me down off of that ledge. I have to remember that some days will be better than others but I can't allow myself to feel like the glass is no longer half full.

Today I asked Nat how she is able to silence the negative thoughts and she said, "I find happiness in the little things like a sunny day, my beautiful home, my relationships, etc. Try reading the front page of the newspaper and then you won't feel so badly about your life." Meaning, even when you put all of your focus into doing something it is key to maintain the proper perspective when the going gets tough because one day--this too shall pass.

If all else fails, cry

In order to find a picture of my doctor, pick up a dictionary and look up the word "slick". I think my jaw dropped a little when he entered the exam room. I was dressed in a sweaty t-shirt and shorts while this tall and handsome surgeon was wearing a well tailored tan summer suit with matching tie and cuff links. The whole look was topped off by his well gelled hairdo that would have made Elvis jealous. I will admit he was good looking enough to throw off my hearts and minds strategy but only at the beginning.

After so many surgeries he knows his stuff but I don't think we connected because like a true surgeon Dr. Slick practically pulled out a scalpel at the mere mention of "meniscus tear". To his credit he did try to offer me some reassuring phrases of, "I know what you are going through and I will do my best to help you". Thanks, Doc.

At the end of the visit he asked me if I was going to be okay and I responded with a short period of silence followed by tears. Oh yes, I cried. I don't think this guy has any children because I think I scared him. It was sorta comforting how he awkwardly tapped me on the shoulder and threw me a box of tissues. At least he tried but I still hold true to my belief that they remove the soul from each orthopaedic surgeon before they take the doctor's oath.

The one good thing that Dr. Hair Gel did was ask about the kind of traits I wanted in a physical therapist. I told him I wanted someone that was humble enough to admit they didn't know a whole lot about the mechanics of fencing, smart enough to learn and apply his skills, and nice enough to invest in a working relationship with a neurotic fencer (AKA: Me). And much to my delight, my physical therapist at the sports therapy clinic is all those things.

My first session with the physical therapist went really well and I feel very positive about his abilities. At some point in the conversation-two hours later-he said something about this rehabilitation being a long-term task and "our" goal was to get me performing at my best. It was nice to know that he was at least thinking about working as a team for the long-term. We spent a lot of time together going over exercises of course but he did spend a great deal of time trying to reassure me that everything was going to be okay.

Dr. Well Groomed hasn't gotten back to me about the MRI results, but from what Chris mentioned he doesn't seem to think it has anything to do with the meniscus. He thinks that a lot of this has to do with the changes I have made in my mechanics in order to compensate for my knee pain/surgeries. I've developed several compensations after three surgeries that are putting stresses in previously healthy areas. I have to spend time strengthening my quads and working to break myself of the bad habits. One of the most obvious compensation I've developed is not keeping my back straight while I lunge so that most of the stress goes to my gluts instead of my quads and knees.

It was good that something happened at the beginning to force me to get a physical therapist so I can prevent any major mishaps down the line. Although I wasn't entirely impressed with Dr. Scalpel Happy, I am glad he had the sense enough to put me with a good physical therapist.

Life has it's ups and downs and hopefully things are on an upward trajectory.

A shout out to my coach for trying to keep me in a happy mental place. She has been kind enough to put up with all my neuroses.

knee update

The short of the visit is that we can't tell anything until the results of the MRI come in. I took the MRI this evening and should have some answers by tomorrow afternoon. I am also seeing a physical therapist tomorrow that could tell me something positive.

I'll have an amusing story about the doctor's visit in tomorrow blog. Let's just say that if all else fails, cry.

WNBA

Big shout out to my fellow female athletes on the Sacramento Monarchs WNBA team. They have made it to the finals and I expect everyone out there to keep watch for the defending World Champs to take the title yet again.

Click here for the finals schedule.

And a new week begins

And you think that Olympians don't have problems with motivation. I know the blog posts have been few and far between but I attribute my lack of posts to the constant worry about my knee and tomorrow's diagnosis.

Yup, I see the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow at the University of Rochester Sports Medicine facility. On a scale of 1-10 on the nervousness scale, I think I'm about a 20. Being the usual nervous and worried person that I am, I have pictured the meeting with the doctor to go a few different ways.

1. Worst case scenario: I meet him, he tells me that fencing isn't a sport (similar to a conversation I had with another surgeon in Rochester), and he tells me I'll never fence again anyway because I have another tear in my cartilidge. At which point I completely fall apart on the spot and never again blog on "citius, altius, fortius".

2. Medium case scenario: Similar to worse except for he prescribes bad rehab for me with some PT that doesn't believe fencing is a sport. Does anyone sense that I have a complex about this? When you've been told enough times that fencing is elegant like a dance or not worth sponsoring, you kinda start to believe them. Although my name is Iris, there is nothing delicate about me or my fencing.

3. Best case scenario: The doctor is amazing (not like any surgeon I have known before-who actually cares about listening to the patient) and decides that he is going to help me with my knee pain. Then he marches me over to a cabinet full of amazing knee braces and hands me one. At which point they award me the world championship medal because there is no one around who can fight the power of the knee brace.

Reality, I suspect, is nestled somewhere far from my own neurotic predictions.

I have a plan. I'm going to do what I call the "hearts and minds" strategy. I will explain my situation with all honesty to persuade him into believing that I'm not just another athlete with bad knees. And I'm not some weekend warrior who does fencing for fun because it's a cool recreational sport. No, I am a 25 year old woman who has put her life on hold so she can stand on a podium two years from now with a medal draped around her neck. I need a doctor that I trust to seek out all solutions to get me back on that strip because it isn't just my knee-it's my dream, it's my future, it's everything I have put on the line for this. Have I lost perspective yet? Perhaps, but it's all part and parcel of the hearts and minds strategy.

I am going into the doctor's office alone. I half jokingly asked my mother to be in the room with me so I have someone's shoulder to cry on if need be. I don't know what I'm going to do if the scenario is more number one than number three. I seriously doubt that this will mean the end because I will find a way to work around it, but I know that I have already been mentally set back. Take a step forward and then take two steps back. I wish I wasn't alone in that waiting room.

On a much brighter note one of the junior fencers has informed me that the September issue of Elle magazine has an article about the sport of fencing. Anna Kournikova "writes" a column every month about different ways for hot and hip women to stay in shape. Anna's quote after trying the sport?

"A woman who knows how to use a sword is really sexy".

Amen.

Kryptonite

I don't know how many of you have watched the movie Superman, new or old version, but most of you have to know the one thing that robs Superman of his super powers. His amazing strength, laser vision, and his speed can all be nuetralized by a substance called kryptonite.

If you asked me a week ago how I felt about the progress of my fencing I would have said I felt like Superman. But if you ask me about my fencing today, after the first day of the national women's foil camp, I would tell you I feel like Superman on kryptonite.

During my lesson yesterday I felt one little tweak in my knee and I immediately shut down all systems. I am very sensitive to things that go on with my knees especially having gone through three different knee surgeries, two on the left in 1998 and one on the right in 2005. At this point I can't tell between a harmless click in my knee from something more serious because I completely go numb emotionally and mentally when I feel any knee pain. I can't focus on anything else which makes things even worse. I believe the word FREAKOUT can be used in this situation.

The fact is, whenever I start to feel great about my physical health something goes wrong with these knees. There is a chance that this knee pain is just some scar tissue prying itself loose with all the activity or it could be something more serious. I'm thinking Floyd Landis with no hip joint serious.

I've made an appointment with an orthopedic doctor here in Rochester. He happens to work out of the same place as the doctor that did my knee surgeries in 1998. This other doctor and I don't really get along. Let's just say that he thought fencing wasn't a sport but I was too young to realize what a "second opinion" meant. On top of all that my coach was putting a lot of pressure on me to get things fixed as soon as possible (he's a little insane). Admittedly, the fault is ultimately my own.

The kicker about today is that I didn't get to fence with the campers. I feel like I helped to bring everyone together and yet I'm not part of it. I tried my best to remain upbeat and to offer some strip side advice, but my friends at the camp knew that I wasn't myself. I was Superman on kryptonite.

My coach said the following, "Things are going so well that I refuse to believe that there is anything seriously wrong with your knee." I have that same line going through my head. The fighter in me wants to push past this because I truly believe there are great accomplishments ahead and Beijing is still on the horizon-I can see it, damn it, I can SEE it. The flag, the anthem, my teammates, and me on that stage.

In the last thirty minutes of the movie Superman always breaks free and saves the town. Why? Because he believes that he can, the audience believes that he can, and this was what he was meant to do. Ultimately kryptonite is never strong enough to bring him down. The question for me is, how much do I want this and how hard am I willing to fight? The answer-it will take more than pain to stop me.

Camp-a-palooza TAKE TWO

The women's foil team is going to start a three day camp tomorrow. I have been busy trying to physically and mentally prepare for this camp so I've been somewhat unfocused on the blog. Sorry about that.

I'm a little worried about this camp for a few reasons. First, my knees have been hurting more consistently lately, so I am not sure if I am going to be able to go all out for the three days. Second, it almost feels too soon after the last camp to have another one and I think motivation levels will be a lot different. That being said, I do have confidence in our ability to get really competitive once we put all our fencing stuff on. I guess when someone tries to poke you with a steel pointy object you are apt to poke them back.

When I talk about being mentally prepared, I'm not talking about it in the sport sense of the word this time. I've been extremely stressed lately about trying to figure out how I am going to pay for everything while being unemployed. I estimated that it will probably cost me about $65,000 to fence for the next two years. Bills and collection agencies still come after you even when you aren't making money-surprise, surprise.

I had a meeting about a week ago with an influential figure in Rochester that is very familiar with raising money. She promised to help me connect to people that would be interested in donating money towards my endeavor. After our breafkast meeting I was extremely excited because if anyone was going to be able to help me raise money it would be her.

Then there's the reality of it all. There are many people out there that have made promises to me about money or sponsorship and only about ten percent of those who promise will come through. I wonder if this woman is going to be part of that ten percent or am I going to have to find a job? Finding a job would make it hard for me to train and travel.

My mother always tells me this one Buddhist saying at least once a week-"when you sleep you sleep, when you eat you eat, when you do something be in the moment and focus on nothing else." She's right but I don't tell her she's right because she's my mom and children never admit defeat. But, she's right. Every workout and practice is intense at this level that I have to be prepared by being rested, full of energy, and mentally focused. Working would only decrease the amount of energy I have for my training.

If I just fenced it would help me to even the playing field with all the Europeans that receive a pay check from their country to fence. The French are "postal workers", the Italians are "police officers", and the Russians are just paid directly without any false connections. Let's not get into the Chinese, I am sure they are building up some major incentives for their athletes to win a medal in the Beijing Olympics.

Many Americans drop out of fencing after college because they can't come up with the funds to fence. It's easier to get a job and move on with your life than try and bang your head against the wall everytime a bill comes in. Meanwhile on the world stage, senior fencers start to hit their stride when they are in their mid to late twenties. The top three women in the world are either 30 or about 30 years old. Americans are great fencers when they are about 17 and then they have a tendency to drop off the face of the Earth. The U.S. Fencing Association (USFA) has been unable to come up with ways to retain a lot of their best fencers as they age into senior level fencing. I'm a rare commodity-I hope they don't lose me.

Problem is still unsolved but it's still off to practice for me. Many things need to be done today-picking up the campers from the airport, making sure the fencing club is clean, and lots of rest before the three day camp.

Delay

Sorry for the delay on the posts. I have actually been working out quite a lot in addition to remodeling the fencing gym. For some reason I decided I don't spend enough time at the fencing club, so I am now at the club afterhours and weekends in order to clean and remodel it. Lots of dust bunnies and trophies from the 1980's.

I have a blog post coming soon. :)

My day off

After two days of knee pain I decided to take Wednesday off. Physically it was good to take the time off but mentally I felt strange not being in workout clothes all day long.

The day turned out to be pretty eventful.

On my way to getting a haircut I drove past the campaign office for the guy running for Congress in my district, Eric Massa.

When I walked in I immediately felt nostalgic-the campaign office was a dump and reminded me of all those days and nights I spent at the Westly campaign office. You gotta love political campaigns because they have a definite pulse that most corporate/run of the mill offices lack. Everyone is filled with their own self-importance(that was a low blow).

I signed up to volunteer for the campaign because he is a democrat running against a Republican incumbent. The problem is that this guy, Eric Massa, just changed his political affiliation after Karl Rove fired him a few years back for writing some negative things about the Bush administration. It's a long story-not very interesting to most but just goes to show that most dems on the East coast are Republicans in blue collar clothing.

Enough about my rant. The volunteer coordinator-a graduate from Rochester Institute of Technology and looking too smart to be there, told me that I should attend an event with the candidate to do some campaigning that evening. So, I grabbed my friend Ilana, went shopping with her during the afternoon, and then dragged her to the Brighton jazz concert to campaign for Eric Massa. I am trying to encourage her to complete her political science major at UPenn.

There was a HUGE Rochester turn out-about forty people showed up. Most of them were seniors who voted in a different district and most of the others were their grandchildren that weren't old enough to vote. The few that fit the criteria of old enough to vote and young enough to hear, didn't want us bothering them. At one point Mr. Massa was cursed at-he said that never usually happens. Either way, this was a big campaign miss. Sorry Eric, better luck tomorrow at your press conference.

It was fun to get out today and enjoy my other interests-haircuts, shopping, and political campaigns.

An interesting coincidence-I'm going to a political fundraiser on Friday for Congresswoman Louise Slaughter. She was the person that influenced me to get into politics-I want her seat when she retires in a few years. Too bad she isn't in my district anymore-dang gerrymandering!

All in all this was a great day! Thanks Ilana for hanging out with me at that Brighton Jazz festival. At least the band was good (the average age of the band members is 70) and we got free t-shirts that say "Vote for Eric Massa". How could a day off be any better than that?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday to my big sis, Felicia Zimmermann. She is currently in Los Angeles-hard at work for Booze Allen Hamilton but her family in Rochester, NY is thinking of her. Wish you were home to celebrate!

Here's a little story about the Olympian sisters from Rochester, NY.

Felicia and I fenced together for nearly eighteen years and this is the first Olympic trials I am going through without her. Of course she is always there for love and support but I am going to miss her coaching and help during competitions. There have been so many big matches in my career that I couldn't have won without her advice. Mostly I think it was the fact that there was always someone unconditionally in my corner that made the biggest difference.

In 2000 we were the ultimate Olympic story. We composed two-thirds of the USA women's foil team. I don't know how Ann, our teammate, ever put up with our sibling shenanigans.

The best part of the whole experience in 2000 was walking into the Olympic stadium for opening ceremonies hand in hand with my sister. I can't really explain the feeling of that moment. How do you capture in words and explain what thousands of people sound like cheering for you while you are down on the stadium field (besides asking a football player)? How can you describe what it's like to be there with someone you are the closest to in your life? How can you describe the joy and pride we felt that we had accomplished this goal together? I guess one word-indescribable. Aren't I always full of these cliches?

During Olympic tryouts in 2004 our relationship took a different turn. Rather than being teammates we were competitors on a whole new level. We had always been competitive, but this time it was different. I was training with our old coach in New York City and Felicia, a year before the games, decided to make a comeback and moved back to Rochester to train for one last attempt. The difference was-only ONE women's foil fencer from the USA was going to Athens in 2004.

At this point she had two Olympics under her belt already and I was going for my second team. My father complained the whole year about not putting us in two different fencing weapons so we didn't have to compete against each other.

We fenced a few times at world cups and national competitions that year. I lost to her at a crucial world cup in Shanghai, China. In the end I didn't make the team by two points and beating her would have made a difference because I needed another result in the Asian competition zone. A lot of our competitors asked why she didn't forfeit the bout. At the time I really wish she did (it was a horrible year) but with time and perspective I realize she did the right thing and fenced me at her best. It was a hard pill to swallow because it felt as though she was no longer in my corner but I didn't realize she had never really left my side.

My relationship with my former coach had been deteriorating to the point that I felt alone and isolated in New York City. The city swallowed everything up including my ability to see that my sister was trying to help me the entire year despite what it seemed like in China. To make a long story short-things didn't go so well in the Big Apple so she tried to convince me to move back home and train with her to boost my morale and confidence.

There is no doubt that Felicia is my closest friend and biggest supporter in life. :)I could never dream as big if she wasn't there with every step.

Jai, I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

Camp Photos- Part III, the lost files

I think the one of me on the treadmill is scary. If I were my opponent I think I'd be afraid. :)