a conversation on the plane

A slight digression from the norm.

Everyone who knows me and knows this blog understands that I have a passion for discussing politics. I don't know, maybe it's from my father who always felt it necessary to listen to Rush Limbaugh because he was the opposition. I guess you always need to know what the other side is saying. I am just not sure how he puts up with all that crap? Apologies to anyone who is a Limbaugh fan.

Well, the reason I brought this up was because I was struck by a conversation I had with a German citizen on the plane from Madrid to Munich. For some reason we got to talking (I never really like meeting people on the plane, I much rather sleep) and he pulled out all the stops on what he hated about Americans.

Conversation went something like this:

German Guy: What were you doing in Spain? Were you on vacation?

Me: Actually, I was visiting a friend.

GG: Do you speak Spanish? Some Americans don't speak any languages and some of them speak some Spanish but overall, Americans try hard not to speak any languages.

Me: Yeah I guess so. I speak some languages and yes, I understand and can speak Spanish.

GG: Oh really? What languages do you speak?

Me: I can understand German, my father is German...

GG: You should really speak German, it's the most spoken language in the EU.

Me: (The obligatory) Oh really? That's interesting. I should probably speak German. (WHY IS HE TALKING TO ME? I'M TRAPPED IN THE STUPID MIDDLE SEAT AND I HAVEN'T SLEPT.)

GG: Your Dad is from Germany? Why is he living in the states, I bet he doesn't speak German anymore? Did you know that 40 percent of Americans claim German ancestry?

Me: (I'm not sure how many can claim Chinese and German heritage) Well, my parents moved to the states in the 1960's and at the time they felt that America had a lot of opportunities for their children. And, my father does still speak German and in fact he has a very thick accent so it's almost like he's speaking German when he's speaking English. (Desperately trying to get a laugh out of this guy.)

GG: Spain is probably the only place you have ever visited, right?

Me: (Now I am getting pissed but the reality is that there is another hour to the flight and I AM IN THE MIDDLE SEAT!) Well actually I've been to over 22 different countries...

GG: Probably like every other American, with a backpack and a Eur rail pass.

Me: Actually, I have been traveling to Europe and other countries since I was 14 years old. I am an Olympic fencer and I am currently training for the 2008 Games.



So, one would hope that after that he would shut up but he continued on his "well, you're American and you must be loud, obnoxious, rude, and think you own everything, and your shit doesn't stink, etc". Let's just say that it was a long flight from Madrid to Munich.

But the crazy thing is that I am less angry at this guy making assumptions about me than I am at the reasons he is going nuts about the states. The truth is that we as a nation have a bad rep right now and it isn't just this German guy. Everywhere I go I feel as though I have to apologize for carrying an American passport. On top of all that I find out more about the war in Iraq and the situation overseas on BBC and other European networks than I do at home.

I know this is a touchy subject but I think it's an important one to at least discuss. There has always been some hostility towards Americans while traveling but never have I experienced anything at this level of animosity. This is an important thing to consider since we may be doing some irreparable damage to our image. While we are busy fighting an enemy that hates us, we are simultaneously turning others against us.


Sorry for the digression but I couldn't resist my own two cents. It's my blog and I can get slightly political if I want to. ;)

Home sweet home

When I left Rochester about a month ago to make my journey through Europe, the ground was still frozen and covered over with snow and my car was still an ashy shade of gray from all the salt on the strees and highways.

Thus to my surprise, the sun was still out at 6:30pm when I touched down at the Rochester "International" airport. The sun is a rare sight in March, especially in a city that is infamous for ice storms in the early spring months. I was also suprised that I didn't need my large winter coat when I stepped onto the tarmack; spring is definitely in the air.

A lot has happened in my time away and unfortunately I didn't chronicle all of it as I was going through most of Eastern and some parts of Western Europe. Mostly it was a matter of time and internet constraints, but it was also that I wanted to be more present in the experience.

It will take me the next several weeks of downtime to untangle and write about my time in Europe and what it has done for my fencing and my life in general. But before I go on with the things I have learned, I think it's important that I explain something that I have been thinking about for a while.

About a month ago I received some feedback about this blog. This person shall remain nameless. As you all know I have been trying my best to raise money for my fencing and seeking sponsorship. A friend of mine looked at this blog and told me point blank, if you want people to fund you then you have to either keep the current blog secret or start a new one where your voice is more confident and less unsure. He thought I always sounded like the underdog in my entries.

I have to admit that I was truly taken aback and agreed. Yes of course, if I want sponsorship then it would be best to tell people how sure I am that I will win an Olympic medal. (An aside, yes, I am sure that I have what it takes to medal, but as to what happens at the Olympics one can only guess.) My catch phrase would be, "once a champion, always and forever a champion". In some ways that is true but at the moment taking top-64 at each tournament isn't making me feel much like a superstar.

Because of his comment, I just blogged some very superficial things and didn't reveal what I was really thinking. This went on for several weeks and then came Spain, and it was there that I had a revelation. (Leave it up to long lunches in the plaza mayor with wine and good company to make revelations possible.)

It was there in the plaza in Salamanca over crouquettes and ensalada that I thought about what I've been through and in what ways it defined me. I realized that it was through all these trials, struggles, and adversity that I would truly find out how strong I am and could be. Sometimes my words are too true for some but in order to accomplish the great things I am striving for, I have to be able to objectively evaluate both the good AND the bad.

The truth is that even the greatest men and women in history are revealed to have some of the greatest insecurities. Their accomplishments despite their problems are the very reasons why they are revered. Let's take Helen Keller for example-I am sure there were times where she cursed her life and felt angry or upset. But without admitting at least once that she had been dealt a rough hand, she wasn't able to pursue the other direction and move forward. It is a crazy example but we cannot accept the true greatness within her without realizing her struggle.

The purpose of this blog is a daily journal of my thoughts that are very real to the process. If I don't write these thoughts then I am not being true to the purpose. I think it's part of my job to show that this journey that I have chosen includes self-doubt, hardship, self-evaluation and re-evaluation, deep thought, etc. But I would think the audience would realize the truth about this journey; every step of the way is filled with hope and unwaivering faith in myself, my team, and the people who care for me.

Maybe when I was younger I did win everything, but it was never from a place of understanding but rather a place of ignorance and fear. Most often I won out of desperation because my former coach would react severely if I did otherwise. In the end I hardly remembered the good times and the wins because in those moments I felt a relief that I didn't let my coach down.

But now my fencing world is much different because I feel a sense of strength and freedom that I never felt before. This is all because what I am building now is a firm foundation to place the good parts of my past, the ones I remember, with the joys of practicing my sport, and from there will come the success I always dreamed of. I have deep faith in what I am building and I would hope that the people who read this blog would understand that.

All that being said, I think I will continue to chronicle this journey as I see it with all it's blemishes along with it's great moments. The reality is that there isn't one without the other and if the audience will bear it, I will tell you the important details of what it is like to be Iris Zimmermann on the road to Beijing.

Last but not least

My friend in NYC asked me where I was the other day and after that I realized I wasn't doing a great job of updating the blog and letting people know where I am.

Well, I am currently in Marseille, France and I am awaiting a 9pm flight to Madrid. I finished the last world cup for this month just yesterday and now I am going to spend one week in Spain with a friend of mine before heading back to the states on Friday.

The competition in Marseille went well and I feel as thought I've made a lot of progress. My game is coming along slowly but I know that things will start to roll soon. It's nice to have one month off to train before heading to another batch of world cups. I think my mentor and fellow Olympian Casey says it best (this was an email that he sent to me before the last competition).

"....anybody that's a world class athlete knows that once things start heading in the right direction it doesn't take very long to make big jumps. One or two minor things improved, the confidence and relaxation that comes with it....all of a sudden you're rolling."

The team event was actually pretty amazing. We beat Japan and France to take fourth place. US women's foil hasn't taken a result this high since 2001 when we won the bronze medal at the world championships. I can't believe how fast our group has gelled to become a powerhouse. We are definitely determined and on our way to qualifying a USA team to Beijing.

As for me I am ready for a well deserved nap and break. These three tournaments have taken a lot of energy and I'm excited for some r&r with a good friend of mine from college. She's currently playing basketball in Salamanca and I am excited to hang out with her and not think about fencing for a few days.

I hope that Spring is in the air in the USA because it's definitely gorgeous here in Marseille. :)

change comes slowly

I know that a lot of you are looking forward to hearing about the progress that I am making on the Olympic campaign.

The truth is that things are going slowly and progress is made in steps (as they should be). It's kind of like the presidential race. Things are sort of about fundraising, getting your name out there, trial and error because the big race comes months before the election. Things will begin to pick up but it's best not to spin your wheels too much before the big push. And in my case the big push is the Olympics.

These past four world cups have been a lot about self-discovery and finding my own groove again. I think everyone, including myself, wanted me to jump into things and win everything right away. I have learned that first of all, that isn't realistic and secondly, there are some things I have had to work through to come this far.

This is not to say that I am not doing well or working towards my goals. The reality is that I have been steadily climbing up the world ranking ladder and making some very key changes in my mental and physical game. I have become much stronger in both areas since this adventure started.

The bottomline is that I am truly happy at this moment with my progress. I am really thankful for this opportunity and consider it successful in learning more about myself and my reactions to stressful situations. I think we don't truly know who we are unless we test ourself and it is what we do with this information and the change we can produce that is a true measure of our inner strength. It's sometimes hard to describe to people what is going on internally and to reassure everyone that I am right on track.

I have learned a lot of the lessons in the past few weeks and I want to share some of them with you.

1. You must have unwaivering faith in yourself. There will always be onlookers, backseat drivers, and nay sayers but if you become your best advocate you are more powerful than the negative energy thrown your way.

2. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and get rid of the people who doubt you or try to sabbotage you. The trick is figuring out who these people are but if you have number one down then you should be able to make a strong decision.

3. You are your most powerful ally and most powerful enemy. If you constantly fight yourself then you cannot progress.

4. Working from a space of happiness and positive energy is much more effective than driving yourself through negative feedback. Your physical and mental self reacts differently to

"You have to practice more because you can't do anything right."

than it does to

"You should work on this specific thing because it will make you even better, stronger, and faster than you already are."

If you work from the positive you can only make your progress more positive.

It's amazing how many times I try to force myself to get better through fear or negative self talk and in the end the progress has no real foundation.

5. Trust the decisions that you make for yourself. Everyone works differently and it is inevitable that everyone has varying opinions of what you should do. If you trust your decision then it becomes the "right" decision.

6. If you want to succeed at life you have to see failure as a temporary state of being and success as a permanent state. How can you possibly win if you cannot see yourself as a winner?

7. Dwelling on positive factors of life and turning bad situations into positive situations will help to attract more positive energy your way. In the beginning I would focus on the things I didn't have and what wasn't going right for me but once I turned my thinking around and started dwelling on all of my strong and positive attributes it increased my fencing ability ten fold. Once you believe in yourself and become your own best advocate, there won't be a limit to what you are capable of doing.

Alright, seven things. I think they all have some of the same themes but I think you get the point.

Hopefully I will learn more this weekend in France for the next blog.

I leave Budapest tomorrow morning for a world cup and team event in Marseille. From Marseille I am going to Spain. I am actually taking a few days to visit a friend in Salamanca before going back home on the 30th.

Budapest and some photos

Yes folks, I am in Hungary. I'm staying in an apartment in Budapest for a few days before we leave for France.

A photo of the apartment below. Hanna and I are sitting on one of the couches in the living room.



Yeah, that's what we look like after two weeks of traveling and fencing in Europe. Don't laugh.

Emily took some photos of us on our European tour and I wanted to share some with you.

Here's one of Hanna and I with two German fencers. Anja, on the right is currently one of the top ranked fencers in the world.



The next photo is of me on the train from St. Petersburg to Moscow.



And last but not least is a photo of me standing in front of our family store in Germany. Just kidding. Zimmermann is a popular German name, kind of like Smith in the States, and there are a chain of stores named Zimmermann. I am not really sure what the store is or what they sell, but it's pretty neat.



I hope you enjoyed the photos. I promise that my blog will be less superficial soon. I have just been a little busy fencing, packing, and shlepping my fencing bag around Eastern Europe.

Moscow-Frankfurt-Budapest, oh my!

I'm currently in Frankfurt on my way to another world cup in Budapest, Hungary. This month has been a crazy one in terms of travel. I always wonder if people in other sports have to shlep as much stuff from one country to the next? Horseback riding perhaps? I wonder how much they charge for the extra steed?

I had a great time this past week staying with my former host family. The best part was that I picked up some more Russian along the way. This morning when I rang my parents I answered "Da" instead of "yes" purely on instinct-I guess that's progress? My host Mom in Russia told me last night that she was impressed with my ability to communicate in different languages and some of the more tough ones including Russian and Chinese.

I just told her that I enjoyed learning about people's lives and being able to communicate with them and that's why I make such an effort to speak different languages. It turns out that people are pretty much the same around the world and want a lot of the same things-too many times we allow some cultural differences to get in the way of the opportunity for friendships. This time in Russia, I felt more proficient in the language because I was less concerned about correct grammer and more concerned about listening to what they had to say.

Okay, enough about communicating. Now is the time for fencing action. A trainer is actually meeting up with the USA fencing team in Budapest. It's nice timing since I think I need a tune up-maybe some stretches, maybe a massage. :)

I fence tomorrow and Saturday in Budapest. I am pretty sure that it's hard to come by internet access there so I won't be able to post anything until Monday after the competition. It's probably for the best since I seem to work better when I'm solely focused on the fencing part. I am staying in Budapest for three days and then traveling to Marseille, France for another world cup (the last of the three this month) on Thursday, the 22nd.

I miss home but I'm always reminded at how lucky I am to be able to travel around the world like I do. There isn't much time for sightseeing but there is always time to communicate.

On to Hungary!

Russia

It's such a trip to be back in Russia after a year hiatus. It's especially cool to be hanging out and living with the same host family that I stayed with in 2005. I seem to be getting some of the language back but perhaps that's just reading into the low expectations and high compliments of my friends.

As per usual I don't have a lot of time to be on the internet. It costs a few more rubles than I am willing to pay and I still have more sightseeing to do before tomorrow.

I know I still have to talk about the St. Petersburg competition but since I'm under a time crunch I am going to keep it short. Individually I did well, even though my final result didn't indicate that. The girl that I lost to in the top-64 is someone that has always been a bit difficult for me to beat. That being said, I don't think I will have the same problem the next time around.

The team event on the third day of competition went really well. The girls all worked together very well and we ended up 6th. We almost beat Russia, the current team world champions, and lost to them by one point in overtime. I fenced really well and showed myself and my coach the progress that I have been longing to see these past few months.

All is good here in Russia. Lenin is still where he is, Red Sqaure is still where it is, and the internet cafe I used to go to is still where it is.

Until tomorrow! :)

Moskva!

I'm back in blogging business! After a long hiatus from the internet I have found a wireless spot in St. Petersburg, Russia.

Below is a photo of me and my friend Beto jumping on the sidewalk at the Kremlin in Moscow two years ago while we were studying there.



I never thought I would return to the land of Stalin and borscht, but today I'm taking the train from St. Petersburg to spend a week in Moscow before heading to Budapest, Hungary on Friday.

The competition in St. Pete went well and I will blog about it when I get to another wireless spot in Moscow. Right now I have to pack up and go!

The European adventure continues.

Leaving on a jet plane

Just a short note to say that I'm packing up for my upcoming three week tour of Europe. My Mom thought I was leaving on Wednesday instead of Tuesday. And when I reminded her of that fact she said, "I'm not ready". I thought that was so cute-it makes me feel loved!

Unlike my Mom, I am ready to go out there and compete-get to work after my short break. I've done a lot of great work with Nat and my sports psychologist in the last week-it's amazing what you can accomplish in a short amount of time.

Which brings me to the next three weeks. I am hoping that I get some time in Moscow to relive some of the fun times that I had there. Irishka comes back to life!

First stop-St. Petersburg.

A sneak peak

The above photo is the jpeg of the homepage that is in the works for my website. It's kind of trippy to even think that I'm going to have my very own website.

www.iriszimmermann.com is definitely in the works. There is an under construction page on the site for now until the rest of the pages are built. Unfortunately, I just realized that "coming soon" was written "comming soon" on the page in bold red print. Uh oh. Not exactly flawless but at least there is something up for the moment. The rest will be great and hopefully without typos since I have someone helping me with the text.

I will make sure to let everyone know when the website is functional. Patience is more than a virtue.

They can't stop the blog

Apparently some blog bot on blogger decided to shut down my publishing capabilities because they thought I was a "spam blog"-whatever that is. My thought is that because I have a lot of links on my page and in the text, the "blog bot" thought that I was spamming the internet. Lovely.

Anyways, I'm back! They can't keep a good blog down.

FYI-the www.iriszimmermann.com webpage is now under construction. I'm going to meet with the web master tomorrow to figure out how the layout is going to look. Very exciting. The hope is to have it up in a month but I'm also operating on what I like to call a "professional fencer budget" meaning, I'm paying the web dude nothing and asking for everything.

On the business end of things I'm getting prepared for another trip to Europe. I didn't compete in the Gdansk world cup this weekend so I could rest up/wash my clothes/catch up on sleep before heading off for a three week tour of Europe. First stop-St. Petersburg, train in Moscow, second stop-Budapest, train in Budapest, third stop-Marseille, and lastly a trip to Spain to visit a friend. The three stops are world cups that will count towards my world ranking.

During an interview the other day I sighed and said, "Oh my goodness, I have to get back on a plane and spend three weeks in Europe." Followed by a big UGHHHHHHH. At which point the reporter gave me the biggest annoyed/confused look and said, "I would give anything to leave this place and travel." Yeah, I guess I kind of sounded like a spoiled princess. But the reality is that I am not just whizzing around Europe with a backpack and a digital camera. The reality is that I am shlepping from one place to another putting on my best performance at high level competitions in order to make the Olympic team. You can't WHIZZ around with three bags of equipment (one bag for shoes) and an Olympic endeavor.

The plan for the next few days before I leave is to enjoy my time at home and rest up for the next adventure.

Dance to the beat of my own drum

Or paino that is....

So I've decided to go back to my roots and start playing the piano again. I played piano all throughout my youth and in my high school years as well. For the most part I can read music and I like to play music, but with all that I'm still not the best piano player in town. My concentration was always on fencing and not piano playing so I never developed into the next Chopin (I am playing one of his pieces).

During the lay over in Dulles airport last night, I called up my high school piano teacher. He and I have been in touch since I graduated. He was kind enough to agree to help me and chose some pieces for me that included a fair amount of tempo changes in both the left and right hands. You can ask this piano teacher for any piano piece and he will find it for you for sure. I'm grateful that he was so helpful.

So why piano? Good question. Haven't you ever heard of football players taking up ballet to become more agile? Well, I thought that playing again would be a good way to teach myself about tempo changes and separating tempos. In fencing I have trouble changing the tempos in my feet and separating the tempos between my arm and legs. Sometimes your arm has to go at a different speed than your feet, which is sometimes a difficult task for me. I thought that perhaps by playing piano I can teach myself to think in different timing.

The other reason to start playing piano is that the act of playing an instrument can calm the mind and keep one mentally sharp. I think that the season is going to be a long grueling marathon and piano playing can be a true escape when I'm at home.

Tomorrow evening I am going to start playing and we will see how it goes. The piano at my house is a little out of tune but it will do. I wonder if I can still read the notes?

As Weird Al Yankovic once said, "Sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don't".

I can't really say that this tournament in Leipzig went well. Actually, the honest truth is that I fenced rather badly. It's not that I didn't try or that I don't have the skill, but for this once I am going to blame it on not feeling one hundred percent.

After this competition Nat and I decided to retool my fencing schedule so I am spending more time at home in my routine rather than training in Europe. Although fencing in Tauber was useful, I was still too exhausted to perform at my best here in Leipzig. I never felt comfortable and I didn't rest enough before the start of this weekend.

The good news is that I have several more world cups to attend this year. The bad news is that I didn't get any points at this particular competition. However, I will revert back to my initial mission statement for this journey.

"This goal and period of my life isn't about counting points or even about making the Olympic team. The value of this endeavor lies in the process of self-discovery, and I plan to enjoy each moment of this process-the good, the bad, and the ugly. I will learn from each situation and above all else I will have fun with the process of making the team. There is no reason for this adventure to be in any way tedious and if it is, then I know it's time to stop."

There is more to the mission statement in my head but that's all I have for this particular situation.

I think it will be hard for me to place a value on these last two tournaments other than I learned a lot and there is still a lot of work to be done.

First step, get on the plane tomorrow morning to go home.

Leipzig, Germany

My hotel is in the picture above. The Westin is the taller square building to the right of the photo.


Part two of the European adventure includes a world cup in Leipzig, Germany. The Germans drove Hanna, Emily, and me to the Westin (pronounced Vestin) Leipzig before heading off to their hotel down the street.

It was a short ride into East Germany and to a bigger and more active city. My teammate Emily, who is also half-asian, commented how much more comfortable she felt here because the community was more diverse. The only asians in Tauber were the two that ran the one Chinese restaurant. The more interesting part is you don't know you are uncomfortable until you are surrounded by a more diverse crowd.

Nat has joined this leg of the trip, which is awesome! :) It's nice to have your coach there to watch and help out. Any extra advantage goes a long way. I am so glad she is here.

The competition is on Saturday and Sunday. The journey continues with world cup number two.

Soccer may be in the water but fencing brings me joy

I have a lot of thoughts to blog about today since I have had a lot of time to think.

Let's start at the beginning.

8am breakfast of rolls, jam, ham, cheese, eggs, and coffee.

9am soccer with the Germans

I think that it would be a lie to say that Em and I were able to keep up with them. But they were extremely gracious and made the space smaller and made sure to pass the ball to us. The problem was my teammates kept screaming, "Come on Iris, kick it!" and that would sort of scare me and I would kick at the air. Although, I did have one or two assists when I did manage to get my foot near the ball. And for the record, my team scored more goals, despite me being a member of the team.

Honestly, I think that Europeans just have soccer in the blood. I saw a three year old kid today at the gym, kicking around a soccer ball with his father. That's the difference between life in Germany and life in the U.S.

10-12pm Em and I fenced with a few girls on the team. It was fun to just play around and try some new actions.

12pm Lunch with a Carnivale theme.

Carnivale is a holiday here in Germany where the younger generations dress up like we do for Halloween in the states, and go on a drinking binge for two days. For others, it's just a celebration where you eat herring and eggs. So for lunch there was fish, potato salad, and cake. My father would be in Heaven (for people who don't know, my Dad is from Berlin).

1-4pm we had a small break where I took a restless nap. Mostly because I'm just sore.

5-7:30pm practice with the Germans.

Oh man. I have a lot to say about that. First of all, I was tired. I am not usually tired but I also haven't fenced with such intensity since I broke my finger a few weeks back.

But the biggest comment I have about all this was that I seemed to be the only one out there enjoying myself. For the Germans, fencing is truly a job and this place is a factory.

I had a chance to speak with one of the German fencers after the practice, she is a good friend of mine actually. And she wanted to know about how things were in the states. The Germans can't understand our process and how we don't train full time and how we don't have anything paid for. They wanted to know how it would be possible for us to concentrate on training? My answer, we do what we can because we love the sport.

And that's just it. We love the sport and that's the only way we could ever get along with this whole task of making the Olympic team.

The flipside for us is that we may not go as far because the Europeans always have the upper hand with training and traveling. They are the cream of the crop, they have the traditions, they know how to fence the game, the know how to prepare, while the Americans are doing everything for the first time. Everything for us is trial and error.

On their flipside, this is a job. Each result means a lot more than it does to us. There are a lot of girls gunning for the team and they are being watched at each tournament and each practice. Not to say that we aren't watched but there isn't the same depth of talent. The Americans have more of a luxury that way.

The question is-what is better? To have everything provided, with a ton of expectations, and eventually losing the taste for the sport? Wouldn't you get tired of the monotony? Or would you rather struggle through the process, try and put things together yourself (like practices at Penn State), and find the joy in the sport? You may be a bit behind the eight ball sometimes but everything you get is earned through and through.

The truth is that I have to think the way I think. I have to feel like I am getting a lot of personal joy from this because it is frustrating to think I don't have everything I need at my disposal. It's just harder for us-the travel alone puts us behind the rest of the Europeans.

The bottomline is that I always have faith. I have faith in my process and I have faith that I can surpass the barriers anyways because I am stronger than that.

I am glad that I am the only one at the practice gym in Tauber that is laughing and having a good time. I think my joking around and enjoying myself sort of threw off some of the other fencers. Acknowledging nicely made touches was also something of a foreign concept for them but nevertheless that is who I am.

Ultimately though, I think that everything needs to be kept in perspective, even if this is your job. I am just glad that not every little thing rests on every touch and every match. I am thankful that when I fence, I laugh, I play, and compete with all of my heart.

Tauberbischofsheim

Try saying that three times fast.

Tauber is like the mecca of German fencing. This place is a true Olympic training center. You couldn't ask for anything more-there is a lot of space to fence, a school here, a place for visitors to stay (we are staying in the training center), a cafeteria, an internet plug, physical therapy, and anything you could ask for. Except for a social life and a big city.

This place is truly a small town at it's finest. There is a supermarket, a chinese restaurant (?), post office, and a couple thousand residents. At least they have a T-mobile where I bought an emergency phone I can use during my travels through Europe and Asia. It's nice to feel as though I could text someone in case I wander off into the mountains and get lost.

For the rest of the week, Hanna, Emily, and I are training twice a day with the Germans. Should be fun-the Germans do not mess around. We are starting at 9am with some soccer (breakfast is being served at the training center promptly at 8am!). I think we will fence a couple of hours in the morning and a few hours at night followed by a dinner of bread, cheese, ham, and yogurt. No wonder these Euros are so fit! They don't eat but I guess I could handle losing some weight.

I am actually excited to have this type of training schedule since it reflects a lot of what I think the American team SHOULD be doing. In my opinion it's harder to get the US fencers to commit to a rigorous schedule since we aren't adequately compensated for the work we do. On the flip side, the Germans have a lot more pressure to perform whereas my motivation is much more philosophically driven. It would be nice to have more money to fence but at the same time I don't have constant pressure to make results.

Unfortunately I have a cold and had a slight fever all day today, so I may not be joining in on the soccer and making myself into joke fodder for the German team. I guess they could use a good laugh.

As for updates about Salzburg, I did really well for the first tournament. I took 26th overall and really felt like I was on the right track with my training. I am slowly moving back up the international rankings one step at a time. I truly feel a bit like Andre Agassi when he started his comeback.

It's nice to be back online and blogging!

The hills are alive with the sound of music....

YODELAYHEEHOOOOOOOOO!!! High on the hills was a lonely goat heard....

Just kidding!

Finally! I am in Salzburg, Austria. Whew! That was one long trip from Rochester, NY. After all that I still didn't get my fencing bag, but I have one more day before the tournament to get it.

I had a lot of time on the plane ride (and in the waiting areas) over here to think and read my Oprah Magazine. I am not sure if any of you have ever read this magazine but I love the articles because they are much more positive than the fashion magazines (which just end up making me feel fat and feeling like I should call a plastic surgeon pronto).

On the way over I read an article written by Mira Nair and about her journey to find herself. Before Mira was the director of the hit Bollywood film, Monsoon Wedding, she was just another woman trying to find her niche. She struggled to know what direction she should take in her life and the only thing she knew was that she wanted to create art that would influence the world.

Mira ended up making a good film about the groups of people in India who get together to laugh. All they do is stand around and laugh as an exercise for their health. Needless to say, that film wasn't a smash hit but it did lead her to make Monsoon Wedding. Monsoon wedding is an interesting look into the elaborate ceremonies of a traditional Indian wedding. It's kind of like My Big Fat Greek Wedding-the Bollywood version. By doing her documentary she came up with the ideas for the film-basically instead of getting discouraged, she let one thing lead to another.

She ended the article with a powerful thought that I wanted to share.

"Only at it's fullest will an endeavor reveal where it may lead you, and if you're always thinking, I have to do this because I want to use it to do that, you simply won't be right for the plucking."

To me this means that you must learn what you can from each moment. In order to get to where you want to go you have to commit to the process because it is the struggle of the process that makes the end goal possible.

To read more about Mira Nair click here.

Before the battery runs out

I made it to Frankfurt and I am waiting the few hours before my flight to Salzburg.

T-mobile wireless internet is the best! :)

Snow glorious snow

Forecast in Rochester for the day:

Snow, heavy at times reducing visibilities to near zero in squalls. Snow will continue into the afternoon, with the heaviest of the storm snowfall totals east and southeast of Rochester. Grand totals will range between 15 and 25 inches.

I am at the airport in Rochester right now trying to will the snow to stop just enough so my plane to Dulles can take off in about an hour.

This really is an adventure every step of the way.

Pack up and go!

Happy Valentine's Day!

In the pic are all my things that I will be shlepping around Europe for the next two weeks. Don't you just love the blue carry on bag with flowers? I got it so it could fit all my carry on things and my laptop. I don't know if you could see it but it's not only a sweet design but it's made out of cork and kimono fabric. It's pretty neat! You can check out this artist's bags by clicking here.

Anyways, I am a bit off topic from my leaving for Austria tomorrow. (Sometimes exciting new bags can do that to you!)

The world cup season officially begins this weekend. The Olympic qualification doesn't start until April 2007, but these first few world cups will help to increase my world cup rankings going into the more important tournaments.

I think that I would be lying if I didn't tell you that part of me is anxious to take this step. I am starting a season that I never thought I would be a part of. If you told me a year ago this time that I would be living in Rochester and training for Beijing, I would have thought that you were crazy. I can't believe that I am about to leave for Austria tomorrow!

Because we are multi-dimensional creatures, of course I feel more emotion than just anxiety. The other part of me-the competitive athlete, feels ready. Really ready. Nat and I have spent a lot of time talking through what these first few tournaments mean and what I should take away from the experience. Above all else, we both decided that these first tournaments would mean experience. Since there are so many world cups, it doesn't make sense to go into each one expecting to win. Small steps are taken and many lessons will be learned at each tournament. Besides, this goal of making the Beijing 2008 team is a marathon and not a 100m race.

During our workout this morning I decided to ask my trainer what he would do mentally to approach this situation? I asked him how he would approach a tournament, trying his best, setting practical goals and knowing that success doesn't mean winning everything? Dave said he doesn't operate that way, and that he would enter the competition with a killer mindset, "everyone is going down."

I'm definitely not like that. I guess after twenty years of fencing I have finally realized that it isn't all about winning. Tomorrow I am getting on the plane to Austria with concrete things I need to focus on but also knowing that I am not at the level that I will eventually be at for the Games. I don't need to be just yet.

This may be confusing for some people who haven't experienced sport at this level, but how about putting it this way-even Tiger Woods doesn't win all the time. You have to choose your battles-especially if you have lots of them in a row.

All the emotional stuff aside, I still may not make it out of here tomorrow morning. My flight is scheduled to take off at 10:30am but nothing is for sure in this blizzard we are currently having. The east coast and midwest are being slammed with snow which is causing delays and airport closings. Let's hear it for traveling to Europe in the middle of winter!

And last but not least...

Before I take off to start my adventure, I want to leave you with some words from a friend which may help to explain my mindset going into the first few world cups:

"...go off and have a grand adventure! It's one step at a time, one airport at a time, and lots of "invisible emotional support" to take with you on this trip. This is your time. When you step onto that "fencing stage", let that be your mantra - the affirmation you replay in your head and you feel in your heart. Travel safe and go play in the world."

Thank you to my circle of friends and family that always support me. The journey begins!