change comes slowly

I know that a lot of you are looking forward to hearing about the progress that I am making on the Olympic campaign.

The truth is that things are going slowly and progress is made in steps (as they should be). It's kind of like the presidential race. Things are sort of about fundraising, getting your name out there, trial and error because the big race comes months before the election. Things will begin to pick up but it's best not to spin your wheels too much before the big push. And in my case the big push is the Olympics.

These past four world cups have been a lot about self-discovery and finding my own groove again. I think everyone, including myself, wanted me to jump into things and win everything right away. I have learned that first of all, that isn't realistic and secondly, there are some things I have had to work through to come this far.

This is not to say that I am not doing well or working towards my goals. The reality is that I have been steadily climbing up the world ranking ladder and making some very key changes in my mental and physical game. I have become much stronger in both areas since this adventure started.

The bottomline is that I am truly happy at this moment with my progress. I am really thankful for this opportunity and consider it successful in learning more about myself and my reactions to stressful situations. I think we don't truly know who we are unless we test ourself and it is what we do with this information and the change we can produce that is a true measure of our inner strength. It's sometimes hard to describe to people what is going on internally and to reassure everyone that I am right on track.

I have learned a lot of the lessons in the past few weeks and I want to share some of them with you.

1. You must have unwaivering faith in yourself. There will always be onlookers, backseat drivers, and nay sayers but if you become your best advocate you are more powerful than the negative energy thrown your way.

2. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and get rid of the people who doubt you or try to sabbotage you. The trick is figuring out who these people are but if you have number one down then you should be able to make a strong decision.

3. You are your most powerful ally and most powerful enemy. If you constantly fight yourself then you cannot progress.

4. Working from a space of happiness and positive energy is much more effective than driving yourself through negative feedback. Your physical and mental self reacts differently to

"You have to practice more because you can't do anything right."

than it does to

"You should work on this specific thing because it will make you even better, stronger, and faster than you already are."

If you work from the positive you can only make your progress more positive.

It's amazing how many times I try to force myself to get better through fear or negative self talk and in the end the progress has no real foundation.

5. Trust the decisions that you make for yourself. Everyone works differently and it is inevitable that everyone has varying opinions of what you should do. If you trust your decision then it becomes the "right" decision.

6. If you want to succeed at life you have to see failure as a temporary state of being and success as a permanent state. How can you possibly win if you cannot see yourself as a winner?

7. Dwelling on positive factors of life and turning bad situations into positive situations will help to attract more positive energy your way. In the beginning I would focus on the things I didn't have and what wasn't going right for me but once I turned my thinking around and started dwelling on all of my strong and positive attributes it increased my fencing ability ten fold. Once you believe in yourself and become your own best advocate, there won't be a limit to what you are capable of doing.

Alright, seven things. I think they all have some of the same themes but I think you get the point.

Hopefully I will learn more this weekend in France for the next blog.

I leave Budapest tomorrow morning for a world cup and team event in Marseille. From Marseille I am going to Spain. I am actually taking a few days to visit a friend in Salamanca before going back home on the 30th.

Budapest and some photos

Yes folks, I am in Hungary. I'm staying in an apartment in Budapest for a few days before we leave for France.

A photo of the apartment below. Hanna and I are sitting on one of the couches in the living room.



Yeah, that's what we look like after two weeks of traveling and fencing in Europe. Don't laugh.

Emily took some photos of us on our European tour and I wanted to share some with you.

Here's one of Hanna and I with two German fencers. Anja, on the right is currently one of the top ranked fencers in the world.



The next photo is of me on the train from St. Petersburg to Moscow.



And last but not least is a photo of me standing in front of our family store in Germany. Just kidding. Zimmermann is a popular German name, kind of like Smith in the States, and there are a chain of stores named Zimmermann. I am not really sure what the store is or what they sell, but it's pretty neat.



I hope you enjoyed the photos. I promise that my blog will be less superficial soon. I have just been a little busy fencing, packing, and shlepping my fencing bag around Eastern Europe.

Moscow-Frankfurt-Budapest, oh my!

I'm currently in Frankfurt on my way to another world cup in Budapest, Hungary. This month has been a crazy one in terms of travel. I always wonder if people in other sports have to shlep as much stuff from one country to the next? Horseback riding perhaps? I wonder how much they charge for the extra steed?

I had a great time this past week staying with my former host family. The best part was that I picked up some more Russian along the way. This morning when I rang my parents I answered "Da" instead of "yes" purely on instinct-I guess that's progress? My host Mom in Russia told me last night that she was impressed with my ability to communicate in different languages and some of the more tough ones including Russian and Chinese.

I just told her that I enjoyed learning about people's lives and being able to communicate with them and that's why I make such an effort to speak different languages. It turns out that people are pretty much the same around the world and want a lot of the same things-too many times we allow some cultural differences to get in the way of the opportunity for friendships. This time in Russia, I felt more proficient in the language because I was less concerned about correct grammer and more concerned about listening to what they had to say.

Okay, enough about communicating. Now is the time for fencing action. A trainer is actually meeting up with the USA fencing team in Budapest. It's nice timing since I think I need a tune up-maybe some stretches, maybe a massage. :)

I fence tomorrow and Saturday in Budapest. I am pretty sure that it's hard to come by internet access there so I won't be able to post anything until Monday after the competition. It's probably for the best since I seem to work better when I'm solely focused on the fencing part. I am staying in Budapest for three days and then traveling to Marseille, France for another world cup (the last of the three this month) on Thursday, the 22nd.

I miss home but I'm always reminded at how lucky I am to be able to travel around the world like I do. There isn't much time for sightseeing but there is always time to communicate.

On to Hungary!

Russia

It's such a trip to be back in Russia after a year hiatus. It's especially cool to be hanging out and living with the same host family that I stayed with in 2005. I seem to be getting some of the language back but perhaps that's just reading into the low expectations and high compliments of my friends.

As per usual I don't have a lot of time to be on the internet. It costs a few more rubles than I am willing to pay and I still have more sightseeing to do before tomorrow.

I know I still have to talk about the St. Petersburg competition but since I'm under a time crunch I am going to keep it short. Individually I did well, even though my final result didn't indicate that. The girl that I lost to in the top-64 is someone that has always been a bit difficult for me to beat. That being said, I don't think I will have the same problem the next time around.

The team event on the third day of competition went really well. The girls all worked together very well and we ended up 6th. We almost beat Russia, the current team world champions, and lost to them by one point in overtime. I fenced really well and showed myself and my coach the progress that I have been longing to see these past few months.

All is good here in Russia. Lenin is still where he is, Red Sqaure is still where it is, and the internet cafe I used to go to is still where it is.

Until tomorrow! :)

Moskva!

I'm back in blogging business! After a long hiatus from the internet I have found a wireless spot in St. Petersburg, Russia.

Below is a photo of me and my friend Beto jumping on the sidewalk at the Kremlin in Moscow two years ago while we were studying there.



I never thought I would return to the land of Stalin and borscht, but today I'm taking the train from St. Petersburg to spend a week in Moscow before heading to Budapest, Hungary on Friday.

The competition in St. Pete went well and I will blog about it when I get to another wireless spot in Moscow. Right now I have to pack up and go!

The European adventure continues.

Leaving on a jet plane

Just a short note to say that I'm packing up for my upcoming three week tour of Europe. My Mom thought I was leaving on Wednesday instead of Tuesday. And when I reminded her of that fact she said, "I'm not ready". I thought that was so cute-it makes me feel loved!

Unlike my Mom, I am ready to go out there and compete-get to work after my short break. I've done a lot of great work with Nat and my sports psychologist in the last week-it's amazing what you can accomplish in a short amount of time.

Which brings me to the next three weeks. I am hoping that I get some time in Moscow to relive some of the fun times that I had there. Irishka comes back to life!

First stop-St. Petersburg.

A sneak peak

The above photo is the jpeg of the homepage that is in the works for my website. It's kind of trippy to even think that I'm going to have my very own website.

www.iriszimmermann.com is definitely in the works. There is an under construction page on the site for now until the rest of the pages are built. Unfortunately, I just realized that "coming soon" was written "comming soon" on the page in bold red print. Uh oh. Not exactly flawless but at least there is something up for the moment. The rest will be great and hopefully without typos since I have someone helping me with the text.

I will make sure to let everyone know when the website is functional. Patience is more than a virtue.

They can't stop the blog

Apparently some blog bot on blogger decided to shut down my publishing capabilities because they thought I was a "spam blog"-whatever that is. My thought is that because I have a lot of links on my page and in the text, the "blog bot" thought that I was spamming the internet. Lovely.

Anyways, I'm back! They can't keep a good blog down.

FYI-the www.iriszimmermann.com webpage is now under construction. I'm going to meet with the web master tomorrow to figure out how the layout is going to look. Very exciting. The hope is to have it up in a month but I'm also operating on what I like to call a "professional fencer budget" meaning, I'm paying the web dude nothing and asking for everything.

On the business end of things I'm getting prepared for another trip to Europe. I didn't compete in the Gdansk world cup this weekend so I could rest up/wash my clothes/catch up on sleep before heading off for a three week tour of Europe. First stop-St. Petersburg, train in Moscow, second stop-Budapest, train in Budapest, third stop-Marseille, and lastly a trip to Spain to visit a friend. The three stops are world cups that will count towards my world ranking.

During an interview the other day I sighed and said, "Oh my goodness, I have to get back on a plane and spend three weeks in Europe." Followed by a big UGHHHHHHH. At which point the reporter gave me the biggest annoyed/confused look and said, "I would give anything to leave this place and travel." Yeah, I guess I kind of sounded like a spoiled princess. But the reality is that I am not just whizzing around Europe with a backpack and a digital camera. The reality is that I am shlepping from one place to another putting on my best performance at high level competitions in order to make the Olympic team. You can't WHIZZ around with three bags of equipment (one bag for shoes) and an Olympic endeavor.

The plan for the next few days before I leave is to enjoy my time at home and rest up for the next adventure.

Dance to the beat of my own drum

Or paino that is....

So I've decided to go back to my roots and start playing the piano again. I played piano all throughout my youth and in my high school years as well. For the most part I can read music and I like to play music, but with all that I'm still not the best piano player in town. My concentration was always on fencing and not piano playing so I never developed into the next Chopin (I am playing one of his pieces).

During the lay over in Dulles airport last night, I called up my high school piano teacher. He and I have been in touch since I graduated. He was kind enough to agree to help me and chose some pieces for me that included a fair amount of tempo changes in both the left and right hands. You can ask this piano teacher for any piano piece and he will find it for you for sure. I'm grateful that he was so helpful.

So why piano? Good question. Haven't you ever heard of football players taking up ballet to become more agile? Well, I thought that playing again would be a good way to teach myself about tempo changes and separating tempos. In fencing I have trouble changing the tempos in my feet and separating the tempos between my arm and legs. Sometimes your arm has to go at a different speed than your feet, which is sometimes a difficult task for me. I thought that perhaps by playing piano I can teach myself to think in different timing.

The other reason to start playing piano is that the act of playing an instrument can calm the mind and keep one mentally sharp. I think that the season is going to be a long grueling marathon and piano playing can be a true escape when I'm at home.

Tomorrow evening I am going to start playing and we will see how it goes. The piano at my house is a little out of tune but it will do. I wonder if I can still read the notes?

As Weird Al Yankovic once said, "Sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don't".

I can't really say that this tournament in Leipzig went well. Actually, the honest truth is that I fenced rather badly. It's not that I didn't try or that I don't have the skill, but for this once I am going to blame it on not feeling one hundred percent.

After this competition Nat and I decided to retool my fencing schedule so I am spending more time at home in my routine rather than training in Europe. Although fencing in Tauber was useful, I was still too exhausted to perform at my best here in Leipzig. I never felt comfortable and I didn't rest enough before the start of this weekend.

The good news is that I have several more world cups to attend this year. The bad news is that I didn't get any points at this particular competition. However, I will revert back to my initial mission statement for this journey.

"This goal and period of my life isn't about counting points or even about making the Olympic team. The value of this endeavor lies in the process of self-discovery, and I plan to enjoy each moment of this process-the good, the bad, and the ugly. I will learn from each situation and above all else I will have fun with the process of making the team. There is no reason for this adventure to be in any way tedious and if it is, then I know it's time to stop."

There is more to the mission statement in my head but that's all I have for this particular situation.

I think it will be hard for me to place a value on these last two tournaments other than I learned a lot and there is still a lot of work to be done.

First step, get on the plane tomorrow morning to go home.

Leipzig, Germany

My hotel is in the picture above. The Westin is the taller square building to the right of the photo.


Part two of the European adventure includes a world cup in Leipzig, Germany. The Germans drove Hanna, Emily, and me to the Westin (pronounced Vestin) Leipzig before heading off to their hotel down the street.

It was a short ride into East Germany and to a bigger and more active city. My teammate Emily, who is also half-asian, commented how much more comfortable she felt here because the community was more diverse. The only asians in Tauber were the two that ran the one Chinese restaurant. The more interesting part is you don't know you are uncomfortable until you are surrounded by a more diverse crowd.

Nat has joined this leg of the trip, which is awesome! :) It's nice to have your coach there to watch and help out. Any extra advantage goes a long way. I am so glad she is here.

The competition is on Saturday and Sunday. The journey continues with world cup number two.

Soccer may be in the water but fencing brings me joy

I have a lot of thoughts to blog about today since I have had a lot of time to think.

Let's start at the beginning.

8am breakfast of rolls, jam, ham, cheese, eggs, and coffee.

9am soccer with the Germans

I think that it would be a lie to say that Em and I were able to keep up with them. But they were extremely gracious and made the space smaller and made sure to pass the ball to us. The problem was my teammates kept screaming, "Come on Iris, kick it!" and that would sort of scare me and I would kick at the air. Although, I did have one or two assists when I did manage to get my foot near the ball. And for the record, my team scored more goals, despite me being a member of the team.

Honestly, I think that Europeans just have soccer in the blood. I saw a three year old kid today at the gym, kicking around a soccer ball with his father. That's the difference between life in Germany and life in the U.S.

10-12pm Em and I fenced with a few girls on the team. It was fun to just play around and try some new actions.

12pm Lunch with a Carnivale theme.

Carnivale is a holiday here in Germany where the younger generations dress up like we do for Halloween in the states, and go on a drinking binge for two days. For others, it's just a celebration where you eat herring and eggs. So for lunch there was fish, potato salad, and cake. My father would be in Heaven (for people who don't know, my Dad is from Berlin).

1-4pm we had a small break where I took a restless nap. Mostly because I'm just sore.

5-7:30pm practice with the Germans.

Oh man. I have a lot to say about that. First of all, I was tired. I am not usually tired but I also haven't fenced with such intensity since I broke my finger a few weeks back.

But the biggest comment I have about all this was that I seemed to be the only one out there enjoying myself. For the Germans, fencing is truly a job and this place is a factory.

I had a chance to speak with one of the German fencers after the practice, she is a good friend of mine actually. And she wanted to know about how things were in the states. The Germans can't understand our process and how we don't train full time and how we don't have anything paid for. They wanted to know how it would be possible for us to concentrate on training? My answer, we do what we can because we love the sport.

And that's just it. We love the sport and that's the only way we could ever get along with this whole task of making the Olympic team.

The flipside for us is that we may not go as far because the Europeans always have the upper hand with training and traveling. They are the cream of the crop, they have the traditions, they know how to fence the game, the know how to prepare, while the Americans are doing everything for the first time. Everything for us is trial and error.

On their flipside, this is a job. Each result means a lot more than it does to us. There are a lot of girls gunning for the team and they are being watched at each tournament and each practice. Not to say that we aren't watched but there isn't the same depth of talent. The Americans have more of a luxury that way.

The question is-what is better? To have everything provided, with a ton of expectations, and eventually losing the taste for the sport? Wouldn't you get tired of the monotony? Or would you rather struggle through the process, try and put things together yourself (like practices at Penn State), and find the joy in the sport? You may be a bit behind the eight ball sometimes but everything you get is earned through and through.

The truth is that I have to think the way I think. I have to feel like I am getting a lot of personal joy from this because it is frustrating to think I don't have everything I need at my disposal. It's just harder for us-the travel alone puts us behind the rest of the Europeans.

The bottomline is that I always have faith. I have faith in my process and I have faith that I can surpass the barriers anyways because I am stronger than that.

I am glad that I am the only one at the practice gym in Tauber that is laughing and having a good time. I think my joking around and enjoying myself sort of threw off some of the other fencers. Acknowledging nicely made touches was also something of a foreign concept for them but nevertheless that is who I am.

Ultimately though, I think that everything needs to be kept in perspective, even if this is your job. I am just glad that not every little thing rests on every touch and every match. I am thankful that when I fence, I laugh, I play, and compete with all of my heart.

Tauberbischofsheim

Try saying that three times fast.

Tauber is like the mecca of German fencing. This place is a true Olympic training center. You couldn't ask for anything more-there is a lot of space to fence, a school here, a place for visitors to stay (we are staying in the training center), a cafeteria, an internet plug, physical therapy, and anything you could ask for. Except for a social life and a big city.

This place is truly a small town at it's finest. There is a supermarket, a chinese restaurant (?), post office, and a couple thousand residents. At least they have a T-mobile where I bought an emergency phone I can use during my travels through Europe and Asia. It's nice to feel as though I could text someone in case I wander off into the mountains and get lost.

For the rest of the week, Hanna, Emily, and I are training twice a day with the Germans. Should be fun-the Germans do not mess around. We are starting at 9am with some soccer (breakfast is being served at the training center promptly at 8am!). I think we will fence a couple of hours in the morning and a few hours at night followed by a dinner of bread, cheese, ham, and yogurt. No wonder these Euros are so fit! They don't eat but I guess I could handle losing some weight.

I am actually excited to have this type of training schedule since it reflects a lot of what I think the American team SHOULD be doing. In my opinion it's harder to get the US fencers to commit to a rigorous schedule since we aren't adequately compensated for the work we do. On the flip side, the Germans have a lot more pressure to perform whereas my motivation is much more philosophically driven. It would be nice to have more money to fence but at the same time I don't have constant pressure to make results.

Unfortunately I have a cold and had a slight fever all day today, so I may not be joining in on the soccer and making myself into joke fodder for the German team. I guess they could use a good laugh.

As for updates about Salzburg, I did really well for the first tournament. I took 26th overall and really felt like I was on the right track with my training. I am slowly moving back up the international rankings one step at a time. I truly feel a bit like Andre Agassi when he started his comeback.

It's nice to be back online and blogging!

The hills are alive with the sound of music....

YODELAYHEEHOOOOOOOOO!!! High on the hills was a lonely goat heard....

Just kidding!

Finally! I am in Salzburg, Austria. Whew! That was one long trip from Rochester, NY. After all that I still didn't get my fencing bag, but I have one more day before the tournament to get it.

I had a lot of time on the plane ride (and in the waiting areas) over here to think and read my Oprah Magazine. I am not sure if any of you have ever read this magazine but I love the articles because they are much more positive than the fashion magazines (which just end up making me feel fat and feeling like I should call a plastic surgeon pronto).

On the way over I read an article written by Mira Nair and about her journey to find herself. Before Mira was the director of the hit Bollywood film, Monsoon Wedding, she was just another woman trying to find her niche. She struggled to know what direction she should take in her life and the only thing she knew was that she wanted to create art that would influence the world.

Mira ended up making a good film about the groups of people in India who get together to laugh. All they do is stand around and laugh as an exercise for their health. Needless to say, that film wasn't a smash hit but it did lead her to make Monsoon Wedding. Monsoon wedding is an interesting look into the elaborate ceremonies of a traditional Indian wedding. It's kind of like My Big Fat Greek Wedding-the Bollywood version. By doing her documentary she came up with the ideas for the film-basically instead of getting discouraged, she let one thing lead to another.

She ended the article with a powerful thought that I wanted to share.

"Only at it's fullest will an endeavor reveal where it may lead you, and if you're always thinking, I have to do this because I want to use it to do that, you simply won't be right for the plucking."

To me this means that you must learn what you can from each moment. In order to get to where you want to go you have to commit to the process because it is the struggle of the process that makes the end goal possible.

To read more about Mira Nair click here.

Before the battery runs out

I made it to Frankfurt and I am waiting the few hours before my flight to Salzburg.

T-mobile wireless internet is the best! :)

Snow glorious snow

Forecast in Rochester for the day:

Snow, heavy at times reducing visibilities to near zero in squalls. Snow will continue into the afternoon, with the heaviest of the storm snowfall totals east and southeast of Rochester. Grand totals will range between 15 and 25 inches.

I am at the airport in Rochester right now trying to will the snow to stop just enough so my plane to Dulles can take off in about an hour.

This really is an adventure every step of the way.

Pack up and go!

Happy Valentine's Day!

In the pic are all my things that I will be shlepping around Europe for the next two weeks. Don't you just love the blue carry on bag with flowers? I got it so it could fit all my carry on things and my laptop. I don't know if you could see it but it's not only a sweet design but it's made out of cork and kimono fabric. It's pretty neat! You can check out this artist's bags by clicking here.

Anyways, I am a bit off topic from my leaving for Austria tomorrow. (Sometimes exciting new bags can do that to you!)

The world cup season officially begins this weekend. The Olympic qualification doesn't start until April 2007, but these first few world cups will help to increase my world cup rankings going into the more important tournaments.

I think that I would be lying if I didn't tell you that part of me is anxious to take this step. I am starting a season that I never thought I would be a part of. If you told me a year ago this time that I would be living in Rochester and training for Beijing, I would have thought that you were crazy. I can't believe that I am about to leave for Austria tomorrow!

Because we are multi-dimensional creatures, of course I feel more emotion than just anxiety. The other part of me-the competitive athlete, feels ready. Really ready. Nat and I have spent a lot of time talking through what these first few tournaments mean and what I should take away from the experience. Above all else, we both decided that these first tournaments would mean experience. Since there are so many world cups, it doesn't make sense to go into each one expecting to win. Small steps are taken and many lessons will be learned at each tournament. Besides, this goal of making the Beijing 2008 team is a marathon and not a 100m race.

During our workout this morning I decided to ask my trainer what he would do mentally to approach this situation? I asked him how he would approach a tournament, trying his best, setting practical goals and knowing that success doesn't mean winning everything? Dave said he doesn't operate that way, and that he would enter the competition with a killer mindset, "everyone is going down."

I'm definitely not like that. I guess after twenty years of fencing I have finally realized that it isn't all about winning. Tomorrow I am getting on the plane to Austria with concrete things I need to focus on but also knowing that I am not at the level that I will eventually be at for the Games. I don't need to be just yet.

This may be confusing for some people who haven't experienced sport at this level, but how about putting it this way-even Tiger Woods doesn't win all the time. You have to choose your battles-especially if you have lots of them in a row.

All the emotional stuff aside, I still may not make it out of here tomorrow morning. My flight is scheduled to take off at 10:30am but nothing is for sure in this blizzard we are currently having. The east coast and midwest are being slammed with snow which is causing delays and airport closings. Let's hear it for traveling to Europe in the middle of winter!

And last but not least...

Before I take off to start my adventure, I want to leave you with some words from a friend which may help to explain my mindset going into the first few world cups:

"...go off and have a grand adventure! It's one step at a time, one airport at a time, and lots of "invisible emotional support" to take with you on this trip. This is your time. When you step onto that "fencing stage", let that be your mantra - the affirmation you replay in your head and you feel in your heart. Travel safe and go play in the world."

Thank you to my circle of friends and family that always support me. The journey begins!

Inspirational video

My sports psychologist sent me this link:

http://www.walkthetalk.com/the212movie.php?refsource=tyorders

Let me know what you think.

Being positive-who knew?/fencing camp is fun/a lesson from an elephant

SERENITY NOW

They should bottle up positive attitudes so you can drink it up when you really need it. When I woke up this morning I was still positive, and still waiting for the other shoe to drop. The day progressed and still no fall out from the previous day. Then practice came around, still nothing. I even got suited up for some fencing and things went well-actually, they went better than I ever thought. I went in expecting nothing and I ended up practicing for almost two hours.

Apparently positive energy works. Who knew?

I spent a long time getting angry when things didn't go my way and things progressed much more slowly. Imagine how much more productive we could be if we had greater perspective on all things.

FENCING CAMP IS FUN

The women's foil team is coming to the Roc for a camp this weekend. We are getting ready for the international season, which starts next week with our first world cup in Austria.

I am looking forward to seeing the girls again!

A LESSON FROM AN ELEPHANT

You can learn a lot from elephants. I heard the following story at church this past Sunday, and I thought I would pass it along. It sort of goes with my "Risks" post.

There was an young elephant that was tied to a post. One day he decides that he wants to break free from the post. He tries and tries only to find that he is still tied to the post. One day he just gives up and decides that he should just accept his lot in life. This is his life, tied to a post. Little does he know that the post is just about to break and set him free.

The line between success and failure is very thin. Will you continue push for what you want even if it doesn't come easy?

Big girls don't cry

Remember when we were little kids we could throw tantrums to express our frustration? Wahhhh..wahhh...Mommy, I want this or I want that! Or in my case, wahhh, things aren't going the way I want them too!

When we get older we aren't allowed to have these types of tantrums however, what becomes of that emotion? How do we express ourselves when we actually "mature"? Yoga, organic food, supplements, smoking cigarettes, getting into bad relationships perhaps?

I ask these questions because today was one of those days where I could have used a "feel free to throw a hissy fit and cry because it doesn't matter how old you are" card. But the interesting part is that I didn't, and I am not sure what to think. If I am not getting angry in this moment then where does that frustration go? Have I swallowed it into a well where it will overflow once something else adds to my frustration? Or have I actually learned how to deal with my emotions?

Today was the day that I started fencing again after the famous pinky incident. I took the splint off, put the fencing glove on, tapped the two end fingers together, and gave it a try. The first few minutes were okay because we were doing very simple stuff in my one-on-one lesson, but when things got a bit more complicated, the finger started to hurt.

I could start to feel the emotions rising inside of me. I wonder if any of you have ever felt frustration like this? It begins deep in my stomach and slowly rises up into my chest, then it sends a signal to my brain that it's time to react or cry.

The voice (or the "irrational Iris" as I like to call her) started in with her two cents, "You aren't going to be ready. You are leaving for your first world cup of the season next week Wednesday, and you aren't ready. Why is it when things start to get good, you get injured? What were you thinking-you're so dissapointing? Is this always going to hurt like this? Is this yet another thing you have to worry about? Why me, oh God, why me?" Irrational Iris has the most amazing stream of conciousness because it just never stops and spirals into a million other thoughts. She's very verbose.

Her voice got louder at the same moment when the handle of my weapon started to really press against the inside of my hand right at the injury. At which point, I knew that I would either crack or just explode right there on the spot. Believe me, I was going to have a full blown meltdown. BUT, I didn't.

I am still not sure why. I am guessing that after all this time working with a sports psychologist, the positive mental attitude permeated my entire thought process. Apparently it helps to calm me down in situations where I am in physical pain as well. The work I have been doing allowed me to listen to the "rational Iris" as she countered with, "let's look at the big picture here. Is this really going to affect your chance at Beijing? It's just a pinky and you will do whatever it takes to get past this. What happens now doesn't determine what your year and a half will be like. You can get through this because you are tougher than that."

You must think I'm insane. Well partly, because to dedicate one's life to poking people with a sword is a bit insane.

However, I do think that we have two sides to ourselves, one with perspective and the other that always insists on bringing up the negative. I have just decided to name them rational and irrational Iris. You can laugh later but apparently it's helping me get through my roadblocks.

Or maybe not. I am still not sure why I didn't react as strongly to this situation. I am not sure how I was able to maintain composure and perspective. I worry a bit that this is sort of the "serenity now" scenario from Seinfeld. It's the bit where Kramer decides that serenity now is a phrase that he can use to calm himself down but it just ends up making him more crazy because he isn't dealing with what is really annoying him.

Either way I still have to wake up tomorrow and face another day at practice. My hope is that the pain becomes gradually less over the next week so that I feel more prepared for my trip to Austria and Germany.


On another note: I forgot to mention a while back that Serena "the great" Williams is back. She just won the Australian Open the other week. Now that is a comeback story.

Risks-what's the point?

A lot of people told me I was taking a big risk in my life in order to train for yet another Olympic games. I was definitely one of those people that felt that I was taking a giant leap (although slightly more calculated than my parents thought) when I moved from California and my post-college life as "Iris the career woman".

The career woman life doesn't just include steps in the direction of money and career but it is also a path in my personal life. I don't often talk about this portion of my training but it is very real. An Olympian's life is not conducive to the popular mid-twenties personal life. With a crazy training and traveling schedule you can forget about dating, going out, and meeting new people on a regular basis.

My goal is very intense and very personal, so it means that I am the main focus of my life at the moment, which is not so great for forming good friendships or relationships in general. Perhaps I take the goal a little too seriously but I am pretty sure that it is hard for most athletes to keep a strong social calendar.

So the question is, with all the sacrifice, what's the point? What if you go to the Olympics and take dead last? What if you don't make the team? What if you win? What if? What if? Why does any of this matter?

I put some thought into that because it is dangerous to go on auto-pilot and assume that while you are in pursuit of a goal, you truly understand the point of the whole thing. You have to ask yourself, do you have perspective? Because if you don't and things don't go the way you suspect, you have to have the presence of mind to understand that there was a purpose and that you did try your best.

So, back to the answer of the question-why take the risk to train again for the Olympics if you aren't gauranteed a spot? Why come back when things are so hard, you have to earn money to travel, you live with your parents, you are continuing to make the same sacrifices? Why, Iris, why? (I am sure these are questions that you have wanted to ask me.)

The answer is best summed up in the story of my teammate and the exerpt of a letter our coach wrote to him after an unsuccessful tournament.

The Story of Z

This season started like any other for Z (I am not going to use his whole name here) with national competitions and training. However, he quickly discovered after the first few tournaments that he could possibly make a junior world championship team. This was no small feat for Z since he never showed that much promise in fencing-when he was younger he was a little slow, awkward, and never seem to get things as quickly as his peers. Nevertheless, he plugged along and continued on in the sport.

This year after a the first few national tournaments, Z decided that he would make a run for the team and compete internationally. In this sport if you don't go overseas then you can't make the team (just look at my schedule on the right hand side of the blog). His parents, a middle class family with two other children, had to take on side jobs in order to get him to these fencing tournaments. Not to mention putting all the trips onto credit cards first. Z definitely understands how much people around him, including himself, have put into his goal which heightens his anxiety and nervousness.

Unfortunately, the last few tournaments were not as stellar and pushed him down the ranking list. Right now he is looking at an alternate position but he continues to pursue his dream with passion and heart.

What is the point for Zach and his parents? Doesn't this seem extreme for him? His parents taking the risk and putting expensive trips on credit cards just so he can wear a sweatsuit that says USA Fencing on the back? Can't he just save the money and buy his own?

I think you will be able to find the answer for yourself in the following passage from a letter that our coach wrote to Z after his last oversease competition.

Pay attention because she is much more articulate than I am.

I think it's essential, in the pursuit of the good life, to have lofty goals which are difficult to reach. Sometimes we do reach them, which is wonderful and often euphoric. But we don't always get there, so what is the value of reaching so high? It is the process.

.....you are pursuing a sport in which you put yourself on a strip alone, very publicly, have to think quickly, demonstrate the highest of physical skills, and maintain your composure. You have to call on all the physiological capabilities you have even when you are so tired you want to throw up or collapse on the floor, remember everything you trained to execute, and remember all the strategies we discussed without the benefit of your personal coach. As long as you never give up, even if you don't accomplish what you hoped for in a particular bout you are successful.

Why do Z and I pursue these goals? The answer is much less concrete than if I do x and then I will get y, but it is much more existential in nature.

We risk because these goals are greater than ourselves and teach us about who we are and what we are capable of. I think it's boring to pursue life without risk-sit behind a desk just because we are told to. Sometimes making a personal leap will make you happier beyond your wildest dreams. Because without great struggle there cannot be the opposite, great success.

I wish you courage and strength to pursue the things that you truly care about. I know that everyone's life isn't just so, so that they can choose what they want to do. But I believe if you truly feel strongly about something, you have to do yourself the justice of at least trying.

Cast off!

I got the cast off this morning but it was quickly replaced by a splint. I have attached photos of the splint that I have to wear for the next two weeks.

According to the doc I can start holding a weapon on Monday but I have to make some modifications to my weapon and tape my fingers together when I fence. I think the doc said something about the next two to three months. It takes much longer for the ligaments to heal than the bone-which in my opinion makes no sense.

The photos aren't that great but I hope you get the picture (no pun intended).

Photos of the Rochester Open

Here are just a few photos of the Rochester Open competition we held this past weekend. The random photo without fencing in it is a picture of cookies that were donated by Cookies in a Wink for the Open House. Thanks, Wendy!

Enjoy the photos!

T-minus one day until I get my cast off!

Tournament, Open House, tv cameras, oh my!

This past weekend was a busy one filled with morning wake ups at 6am and frequent sips of coffee between adrenaline rushes. I helped to put together and run our first Rochester Open competition and our first ever Open House at the Rochester Fencing Club.

In between training for the Olympics and fundraising, I decided to help out with business development at the club. Can I have my Olympian with a type-A personality and a little bit of overachievement on the side? Why, yes you can! It must be something in the Rochester water or the rice that my mother makes because my sister is the same way.

Anyways, we had a successful weekend. The tournament ran smoothly and we had some people drive in from Syracuse to attend. I was actually more proud of the turnout at our Open House- 50-60 people showed up at our doorstep despite the snow storm and cold temperatures. My hope is that we retain a majority of these visitors but one never knows.

I learned a lot about business when putting this together but most importantly, I learned the power of the media. The people that showed up to the Open House heard about it through our ads in the local newspapers and the spot on R News. Now I understand why the candidate I worked for sunk millions into his ad campaign.

I should have pictures up of the two events shortly. There were so many of them that I have to sort through all of them first.

I hope everyone had a much more restful weekend than I did! Only three more days until the smelly cast comes off my hand!

Photos from the Fundraiser

Fundraiser Review

The fundraiser went off with great reviews from my friends and family. One person wrote this to me in an email and I thought it was a great reflection of how the event went:

"It is very obvious that you have such a close knit support network of friends, family, and teammates/ training partners. Having never been involved with or around fencing I was unsure of what to expect. What I saw was a lot of smiles, a lot of laughter, and people having fun- the tell tale signs of a successful event."

I do feel truly blessed to have so many wonderful friends and close teammates. If I were to guess, there were about 50 people there and altogether we raised almost $1,000. With all the drama that went on prior to the event and with last minute cancellations, I felt that the event was a success.

I would like to acknowledge and thank the following people:

Felicia Zimmermann, who flew in overnight and flew out the next day at 6am just to help her little sister out.

Gabe Sinkin and Doris Willette, for driving in from Penn State despite the weather to help fence in the demo and support me.

Chris Burleigh, Write Type Publishing who helped me promote the event and sell posters.

OlympiansCory Sertl (Sailing '88) and Theresa Contos (Handball '84)-once an Olympian, always an Olympian.

Adil Masood and his family, for always giving without question. Thank you for helping and encouraging me each step of the way.

Bob Silver, from GRAAF.

Al Parisi and his family.

Jenny Ertel, for always being an inspiration.

John Hoy, Slickers. Always a good friend.

Nat Goodhartz and Kathy Weber, always there to lend an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. I called Nat every hour on the day of the event to vent frustration and to get advice.

And last but not least, my parents Thomas and Christina. Forget it-I need a lifetime to thank them.

My father somehow got me on the popular morning radio show Brother Wease by pretending he was an avid listener and biker who is also a supporter of Iris Zimmermann. I wonder what they thought about my father's thick German accent?

I will walk away from this experience having learned a lot about fundraising, promotion, working with others, and being dissapointed. The worse part was finding out which of your friends actually support you unconditionally. Some people talk the talk and some people walk the walk.

All in all this was a fun event and I was so happy to be surrounded by friends and family. From what I heard everyone had a great time and enjoyed watching the demo.

I hope to post some photos of the event on the blog soon.

Thank you to everyone who came-I felt like a rockstar!

Under promise and over deliver

The one thing that I took away from my experience in California politics is "under promise and over deliver". So, this is the way I choose to look at the fundraiser tomorrow evening. I don't promise this will be a huge event and I am just content to have an event after the cancellation scare.

Being the type of athlete I am with high standards and expectations, I am learning how to put the expectations away and just go with it. I am thankful that my sister is flying in tomorrow morning from LA to help me out with this event. When all else fails, get your family to help you out.

I also just learned that one of the girls may not be able to make it to the demonstration because of weather issues. She is driving in from Ohio. Under promise...under promise...under promise...under pressure..unable to breathe.

Cross your fingers everyone!

Don't pull your hair out

So I get a call this morning from the midtown athletic club saying that only five people are pre-registered for the fundraiser on Wednesday and they are cancelling the event. (First of all, who knew that everyone had to pre-register?)

Well, good morning to you too! So I called my friend Chris (she's like my right hand woman) and let her unleash her fury on midtown. By the time I called the special events director she asked, "Is this Chris violent?" I swear I could hear the events director tremble on the phone as she asked me that. They ended up compromising by scaling down the event and moving the venue.

I spent half the morning and afternoon calling and confirming friends. I felt like, just because midtown didn't do the job of promoting my event, I shouldn't be punished. So in one afternoon, I have about 30 commitments, news media coming, and letters of complaint going to the athletic club. I would say my friends are pretty loyal.

Anyways, after all that I am still annoyed. My mother saw that I was still brooding about this situation at the dinner table and said one of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard, "Don't continue to pull your hair out after someone has already done the job." Meaning, you are only hurting yourself getting disappointed and angry about someone else's incompetence. It makes sense. Perhaps that is why it's better to forgive than harbor the anger I feel towards the club.

A refuge

I am not always impressed by sports stories because the lot of them seem to show athletes being hauled off to jail, fined for poor behavior, using anabolic steroids or other perfomance enhancing drugs, or just random misconduct. Anyone hear the latest on Michael Vick and the infamous water bottle with suspicious marijuana like contents? There is one example.

However, this Sunday's New York Times sports story was more human interest than sports. No athletes in this article are big stars with million dollar contracts by any means. Come to think of it this front page Sunday New York Times story didn't have any of the usual catch words, "bomb", "death", or "War in Iraq". It was a refuge from the norm.

Refugees Find Hostility and Hope on Soccer Field

If you haven't read this story yet, you should really click here.


It's an amazing tale of how a woman started a soccer team of refugee kids. The athletes are from from war torn areas like Liberia and Afghanistan. One child recounts being a child soldier and being forced to kill another child in his village.

Their story is all about ups and downs--and the downs aren't even their individual tales from their homes. It turns out that the mayor of their town in Clarkstown, Georgia has been one of the biggest roadblocks to their success. The mayor doesn't really like soccer (oh yeah, and refugees) played in the large grassy Clarkestown field.

But to many longtime residents, soccer is a sign of unwanted change, as unfamiliar and threatening as the hijabs worn by the Muslim women in town. It’s not football. It’s not baseball. The fields weren’t made for it. Mayor Swaney even has a name for the sort of folks who play the game: the soccer people.

Despite their struggles against the town and its mayor, I believe that they will succeed. Because even with everything these kids have been through they ultimately love soccer. Kicking around a ball as a team provides them with much needed refuge from their past and sometimes their present hardships. There is a point sometimes when sports crosses a line to become more than just physical exercise, but a way to find escape and freedom.

The cast

My Mom and I look pretty tough! :)

I really can't type much now which puts a damper on my blog. However, now is the time to work on my photography skills.

This morning I saw Dr. Del Signori, a hand surgeon, about my finger. Apparently the finger was pushed so far to the right on the right hand that it fractured the outside portion of the bottom of the pinky. The fracture isn't as bad as the second degree sprain that will take longer to heal but it's a good thing that I went to a great doctor who is experienced with treating athletes.

I definitely connected with the doc when she told me the story of how she became a hand surgeon. She was playing in a big game at Holy Cross when she fractured her middle finger. Instead of leaving the game, she decided to tape her hand to the lacrosse stick. When the game was over (they lost) she went to the hospital with the stick still taped to her hand. The rest is history.

So I am in this cast for the next two weeks. Until February 1st at 8:15am to be exact.

The journey continues....

The hand bone is connected to the fractured pinky

It's official, there is a fracture at the base of the pinky finger on my right hand. My doc just called with the x-ray results and I have to go in to see the hand specialist tomorrow morning. I can't believe that someone hit me hard enough directly on my finger to fracture it. I think it gives everyone an idea of how tough this sport really is.

I also can't believe I continued to fence in the gold medal round without feeling much of anything. Thank goodness for adrenaline.

Step one, take second at the second national tournament, step two, break pinky finger--hmmm..that wasn't in the plans. This is a lesson that the journey will always have bumps in the road because as John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans".

So this is life and it's happening.

More information on the recovery tomorrow when I see my doctor and the specialist. I guess I'm going to have to focus on floating like a butterfly and hold off on the sting like a bee part. Hopefully this stinger will heal before my next tournament in Austria on February 17th.

California dreaming

My car in my driveway. P.S. that is my Dad in the background with the snowblower.

I think today is the day that I miss California most. My poor car also misses California as it has never seen the likes of snow since it was built in Mexico and shipped to California.

When I left for Ohio it was 50 degrees in Rochester and when I got back yesterday it was 18 degrees. I had to turn on the defroster and wait ten minutes before I could chip through the inch thick sheet of ice that had accumulated on my car.

What does this have to do with fencing? Well, nothing really but it's been a while since I've lived through a Rochester (lake effect snow) winter. I just want to list this under one of the things that I sacrificed in order to train for the Olympics. My car and I miss California.

Journey-on an upward swing!

CELEBRATE!

I won the silver today at the Columbus National tournament. I really had a great showing and worked through a lot of my mental roadblocks while in competition. Not to mention that I had such a great time while I was fencing!

The day I left for Columbus (we drove the 6 1/2 hours here from Rochester, NY) I went to Starbucks to get my favorite, tall caramel macchiatto with skim milk. Why is this significant? Well, Starbucks always has various quotes on their cups entitled, "The Way I See It". The message on the day I left happened to be one from speedskaterApollo Anton Ohno. And it goes something like this:

"If I have given my all and still do not win, I haven't lost. Others might remember winning or losing; I remember the journey."

Very true. I almost shed tears today after beating someone that I have had so much trouble with in the past. Coming in second was so sweet and meant so much more to me than it would have in the past. I worked hard for this and for once I am going to be proud of myself. Because I endured and I pushed past so much in order to get here.

This isn't to say there won't be any downs in the next year or that I don't have more to work on (which I do for sure), but I finally feel like this is the beginning of something good. (Knock on wood-what can I say? I'm superstitious.)

I want to post more on the site tomorrow when I feel a little more rested. Also, one of my opponents hit me on my right pinky knuckle so hard it looks like a sausage. All this makes it difficult to type but I wanted to make sure to update everyone on the good news! :)

California friends and my Rochester future

To catch everyone up to speed in a few very short sentences. Yes, it's been seven days since my last blog. Yes, I have been busy. Yes, I am now 26 years old. Yes, I have to go to a fencing competition in Columbus, Ohio on Thursday.

My trip to California

After Christmas, I participated in a women's foil camp in San Francisco. I spent New Year's Eve in Tahoe catching up on much needed rest and relaxation from the camp. I think I used most of the time to nurse my sore muscles in the hot tub. You have never seen stars until you have been surrounded by snow, sitting in the hot tub at night, and looking up at the Tahoe sky. It was amazing.

After New Year's I spent a few days in SF including my birthday, which was last Saturday. I am finally a few days into the first year of my late twenties. It's an era which will include lots of fencing and traveling. I'm looking forward to it.

My birthday party was an interesting one. I sort of tried to meld a group of mismatched friends together so I can see them all at one time. Some were Stanford kids I met during the Stanford in Moscow program, some were people I knew from the California gubernatorial campaign I worked on, and others were friends from San Francisco.

With this experience I realized that you accumulate lots of friends overtime and not all of them are going to mesh together even if you are all at a great Vietnamese restaurant in San Francisco.

But more importantly, I realized that in six months my life has completely changed. Going back to California was truly an eye opener for me. While my friends were stressed about their jobs and purpose in life, I thought about all the fun things I get to do like fencing, competing, meeting different people, traveling. Not to say one thing is better than the other, but I felt for the first time that I wasn't really missing out on anything.

Of course my Stanford friend asked THE question almost every Stanford grad asks me, "Why did you decide to waste two years of your life?". No joke, that's what he asked.

At first I was a little shocked because I felt that the broad smile on my face would have already answered that question. A few months ago I would have said that I was scared and part of me thought this was the dumbest idea, but this is now and my answer was and is because I LOVE IT. There is no greater joy for me now than what I am doing. Fencing has always been a huge part of me and I am in this moment for good, for better, or for even better, at least for the next year.

I am more worried now about afterwards and what will I do when it's all over but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Today, I spoke to an Olympic sailor that competed in Mexico City at the 1968 Games. I called to invite him to my fundraiser and he started in with, "back in my day I only got $300 and made my own boat. I even got the crew together by myself". I love it. At the end of the conversation I was curious what an ex-Olympian does forty years after they compete. He just plainly answered, of course I still sail and I even build boats.

I think if you do a sport to such an intense degree and you have the opportunity to represent your country in the ultimate competition, the sport never leaves you. It becomes part of you for better or worse-the aches and pains of old injuries and the incredible feeling you get when you walk into an Olympic stadium with thousands of people cheering for you-I own those memories and those feelings. All these things will always be a part of me and for that I am more than thankful. I could be working as an intern somewhere right now but instead I'm traveling the world and chasing a dream.

Pravda

For the few of you that read this blog and don’t know, I spent four months studying abroad in Moscow (Russia, that is). While I was there “pravda” became my favorite Russian word because it means truth. Also, pravda just so happened to be the name of the U.S.S.R.’s national newspaper. As Alanis Morissette once sang, “Isn’t it ironic?".

As we all close another year and begin another, and as I close my 25th year to start my 26th (my birthday is on Saturday), I feel the need to reflect. I think most 25-year-olds feel a strong desire to understand the point of their journey. However, I do know that self-reflection isn't unique to age, but at 25 there is a strong pull of maturity and a letting go of youth. Afterall, wasn't it John Mayer, a popular singer and spokesmen for twenty something’s, that coined the phrase “quarter-life crisis”? If you haven’t heard the song, it’s a good one.

In 2006, I have become a college graduate, worked on a major political campaign in California, and moved back home to pursue a childhood dream. The pursuit of my fencing dreams is more than just an athletic endeavor, it has inspired me to really dig deep emotionally, physically, and mentally. And you all get to read about it! Aren’t you lucky?

So, without further ado, what better way to present these very personal thoughts about my life journey thus far than a list? If it’s good enough for David Letterman, it’s good enough for me.

Small caveat, some of these points may be related but it’s my list and I’ll do what I wanna.

List of Fundamental Truths as Learned by a 25 year old

1. Life is not something you can plan out. After a high school diploma and college degree, there really isn’t anything else (besides grad school) that is as planned out or structured. And even if you try and plan your life in four or five year increments, you will learn just as the Soviets did, even the best laid plans come collapsing down.

2. It is what it is. Meaning, there are some things that you cannot change and must accept. My favorite prayer is the “serenity prayer” which basically sums up point two. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change. The courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” I’m still working on all the above.

3. To forgive is to forget. We only do more harm to ourselves when we choose not to forgive.

4. Change is constant. The picture of today is not always the picture of tomorrow. Which brings me to my next point.

5. Be in the moment. Live in the moment. Each moment passes faster and faster as we get older. Somewhere along the way deadlines take over our lives and we tend to lose perspective. How many times have you said, “No, I can’t. I don’t have time.”? To which I use Lao Tzu’s words:

“Time is a created thing. To say, ’I don’t have time’ is to say‘I don’t want to.’”

6. Being honest with yourself is just as important as honesty with others. Honesty with yourself means being able to admit all the bad and good things that make you, you. But the inability to admit the good things can hold you back just as much as the inability to admit the bad things.

7. Pass on the kindness that you have been shown. You can’t always reciprocate when people do things for you or impact your life, but you can pass on that same kindness to others as one type of repayment. Anyone ever seen the movie Pay It Forward?

8. Loyalty is hard to find and when you find it, hold on to it.

9. Women in fashion magazines are airbrushed. Just had to add that for my own benefit.

10. The brand of clothing I wear does not determine my self worth. Unless they become a sponsor….just kidding.

11. One’s primary source of validation must come from one’s own self-evaluation. After college there are no more gold stars or A+’s, or teachers and parents to tell us what is good and what is bad. But we still feel a need to look to others to form opinions about our lives. Who knows you better? I would hope that the answer is you.

12. Self-confidence should be paired with flexibility to accept change and criticism.

13. Treat everyone with the respect that you would like to receive.

14. Think before you act.

15. Patience is more than a virtue, it is everything. Things happen in small quantities or sometimes in large steps, but the simple fact is that you will spend time waiting for things to happen by your creation or by other’s determination. So while you are waiting you might as enjoy the wait. There is no destination without a journey.

16. You are not the only one. As much as we like to believe that we are the center of the universe, we aren’t.

17. No one is paying attention to you but you, so worrying about what other people think of you is an exercise in futility.

18. Do as much as you can each day even if that is only a little bit.

19. Surround yourself with people that support you but are always willing to question your motives.

20. Happiness is in the eye of the beholder. You are the only one that both determines and controls your own happiness. Don’t blame others for making you unhappy.

21. Give people the room to change because first impressions are not always as they seem.

22. Make time for the most important people in your life—your family.

23. Pursue your dreams with passion.

24. Believe that you will reach your destination even when you aren’t anywhere near it.

25. Never give up. Recently I have been reading Chris Gardner’s book, “Pursuit of Happyness”, and I would hope at this point most people know about Chris' incredible journey from homelessness to a self-made multi-millionaire, entrepreneur, motivational speaker and philanthropist from the new hit movie starring Will Smith. Sometimes when things would get difficult (as they often did in his life) Chris would chant the words “Go forward” until that’s all he could hear.

So for the New Year, I hope that you will all follow Chris Gardner's example and continue to “Go forward”. We may not all end up multi-millionaires, but we each have our own goals.

Go forward, go forward, go forward, go forward, go forward, go forward, go forward……….

Happy New Year!

I haven't been blogging lately between Christmas, fencing camp in San Francisco, and the New Year's retreat to Tahoe, CA. It has definitely been a busy week.

Happy New Year to everyone! I hope that 2007 brings you more joy and success than last year!